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Targeted Toast

 shooting up breakfast for fun
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Are you tired of monotonous mornings eating boring breakfasts? Brighten your lackluster life with the thrills of targeted toast!

The toaster is equipped with an especially strong, tray spring that is engaged when you push the lever down an extra notch. This also connects extra, circular, heating coils to char a target pattern on the bread.

When the toast is ready, a “Click, click, click” is heard, and then, “Sproing!” as the toast is popped high into the air.

You are ready with your 1/4th scale crossbow, and shoot, “Thleee!” the stub-nosed arrow with affixed pat of butter. The arrow hits the bull’s-eye with a “Flott!” knocking the piece over the toaster neatly onto a dish.

Kids, try this at home!

—FarmerJohn, Feb 26 2003

(?) sketch http://www.geocitie.../targetedtoast.html
[FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Wallace and Gromit http://www.clubi.ie...hics/gromit/wt5.jpg
The still of the successful toast jammage (as [angel] posted) [PeterSilly, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Wallace and Gromit II http://www.clubi.ie...ics/gromit/wt29.jpg
The unsuccessful one! [PeterSilly, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Sticky Holes http://www.stickybu...rs/bullet_holes.htm
Stick'em up! [Cedar Park, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       Very very nice. This would definitely cheer me up in the morning. Milk water pistols for the cereal would also be fun.
—madradish, Feb 26 2003
   

       There is always the unfortunate possibilty, as with any ballistics, of 'friendly fire'. Despite being an expert marksman, I might miss the toast and by sheer chance hit a friend in the face with a butter and jam laden arrow.   

       Tragic. (+)
—Jinbish, Feb 26 2003
   

       |¯¯¯¯|,
| [ ]—|————————<<<
|____|,
' ' '
' ' '
' ' '
|¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|
|=====€=====|
|___________|
—thumbwax, Feb 26 2003
   

       we have something like this over in LaaLaaland
—po, Feb 26 2003
   

       Wallace and Gromit did something a bit like this, but it was automated.
—angel, Feb 26 2003
   

       Pull! (+)
—Shz, Feb 26 2003
   

       Angel, one of my all time favourite TV moments. That and the "Spare Track" train chase.
—egbert, Feb 26 2003
   

       This defeats the purpose of a toaster.
—1kester, Feb 26 2003
   

       po: Ah, you know where my patriotism lies.   

       angel & egbert: I love 'em too. It must have inspired me subliminally.   

       1kester: I meant that the bread is toasted normally, except for the darker target pattern.
—FarmerJohn, Feb 26 2003
   

       Might be one way to entice the kids into eating something besides wonder bread. (+)
—X2Entendre, Feb 26 2003
   

       Maybe a shotgun with shells full of butter would work better? This way friendly fire only gets your family buttery (and maybe blind) instead of having putter and an arrow shaft stuck in their brain.
—notme, Feb 27 2003
   

       Oh yes,more sticky holes in my walls +
—skinflaps, Feb 27 2003
   

       define: sticky holes in my walls
—thumbwax, Feb 27 2003
   

       Defined. [link] Not sure how you would get these 'in' your wall, so much as stuck to them... (Sorry 'Flaps)
—Cedar Park, Feb 27 2003
   

       The arrow is stubbed - can't you people read? I like the false teeth idea, that sits very well within the original concept. Perhaps with a piece of elastic to pull the toast back to you.
—egbert, Feb 27 2003
   

       Toast Harpoons. Just reel 'em in.   

       My dog would love this. Sadly I could not train him to retrieve, as his only thought when he encounters toast is to eat all of it in the shortest possible time, even if it means getting the entire slice wedged side-on in his oesohagus.
—8th of 7, Feb 27 2003
   

       Even if the arrow is stubbed, it's still at the very least going to leave a nasty welt when it hits flesh, or cause your perfectly balanced spoon to go careening out of its pot of beans. + none the less. The kitchen needs more projectiles.
—notme, Feb 27 2003
   

       I shot an old crossbow in the Czech Republic one time. It's a lot harder than it looks to hit a target with those things.
—snarfyguy, Feb 27 2003
   

       I love this. Playing with your food is just up my street.
—The Kat, Feb 27 2003
   

       [thumb] what snarfy said,hence sticky holes in my walls.
—skinflaps, Feb 27 2003
   


 

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