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Talking Stock Quotes

 Stock Quotes with a punch line.
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We need a laugh during this endless market downturn. Imagine a website that offers stock quotes and simultaneously plays a humorous wav file. For example type KM, and you see the quote and hear Dustin Hoffman from Rainman say, “K Mart Sucks!” Or maybe MSO and you hear David Letterman say, “help me out on this one Paul, but is it proper to use the salad fork or the dessert fork as a shank.” And then there is WCOM, and McGruff the crime dog says, “Drop a quarter for law and Order.”
—robd7, Jul 18 2002

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       I'd settle for a cartoon Karl Marx saying in a thick German accent "A-ha mein lieblings! Did you not heed my varnings? Soon you vill be homeless, you capitalist lackeys, and then where vill your precious economic system be leaving you?"
—pottedstu, Jul 18 2002
   

       Ever watch CNBC?
—DrCurry, Jul 18 2002
   

       Groucho Marx visited the New York Stock Exchange in the 'fifties. He cleared his throat, waited until he had eveyone's attention, and said, "In the Wall Street Crash of 1929 I lost $250,000 in two hours. I will now sing a verse and a chorus of 'When Irish Eyes are Smiling'." He then sang and told jokes on the trading floor for fifteen minutes during which time not one single trade was made. Groucho said he was getting his money's worth.
(Edited after getting the facts right.)
—angel, Jul 18 2002
   

       what's 401k? It's been mentioned in the last two Daily Dilberts, and I thought it was people saying that their 410,000 dollars savings were now worth nothing. Which puzzled me.
—sappho, Jul 18 2002
   

       ...it has the added advantage of being a pre-tax contribution. The name comes from the part of the tax code which allows such contributions.
—phoenix, Jul 18 2002
   

       Hey, audience teleprompters that say "Laugh, Laugh" or "Applause, Applause" can go. What we need are teleprompters that say "Sue, Sue" or "Bastard, Bastard".   

       BTW, ¯DrCurry: CNBC? Ditto that.
—reensure, Jul 18 2002
   


 

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