h a l f b a k e r yMagical moments of mediocrity.
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This idea is for a small, lightweight container of highly compressed air or carbon dioxide. This will of course produce freezing temperatures when discharged which can be used to freeze any containers of liquids which you are arguing with airport security about. Once you have convinced the dull, rule-bound
security drone that you are not carrying any containers of liquids you will be free to board your flight.
Bring your screwdriver collection in your pockets - it's ok.
http://www.tsa.gov/...on/prohibited-items
Wrenches/Pliers/Screwdrivers (seven inches or less in length) - OK [xenzag, Nov 06 2013]
[link]
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I can see no flaw in this proposal. |
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Or a big container of custard with a large vibrator inserted
into it. |
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Interesting. Not knowing the freezing points of the
components required to explosives, are you telling
me that they could be brought on board as, say, a
half dozen popsicles I might have in my bag? Do they
restrict jello? |
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// they could be brought on board as, say, a half dozen popsicles I might have in my bag? // |
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But there are "innocuous" powders that would work just as well. |
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Sci-fi alert - What if this worked in reverse, the
terrorist carries a jelly gun-mould, fills it with
amorphous liquid (their own blood if necessary) when the
time is right, they fill the mould and freeze it solid.
The content is demoulded, and any firing pins fitted as
necessary before storming the cockpit. |
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<taking bets as to how long before 3d printers are verboten as carry-on luggage> |
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I'm pretty sure I've had this idea while trying to get through airport security. |
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One issue is that they also have a problem with containers over a certain volume (if memory serves- 100 mls).
You could potentially wrap your solid in some sort of insulating sheet, and also carry a number of small containers and a funnel. |
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The problem--aside from the fact that explosives come in
every state of matter from rock-hard solids to invisible
odorless gases--is that TSA screeners are not people who
can be reasoned with. They are paid to be dull,
unimaginative drones who adhere rigidly to a set of clearly-
defined (if sometimes nonsensical) rules, and trying to
argue that frozen shampoo is not a liquid will get you
nowhere with them. If it's on their list, you can't take it on
the airplane. If it's a questionable item, like frozen
shampoo, you can't take it on the airplane. If it's not on
their list but it seems suspicious, you can't take it on the
airplane. |
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Being clever is of no benefit when dealing with people
whose job is to enforce rules they don't understand. |
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Actually, I'm wrong about that. Being clever does help in
nearly every situation. What it won't do is win you any
friends with the TSA. |
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//If it's not on their list but it seems suspicious, |
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I've had my suspicions about electrons for some time, I mean it's not like we know where they come from, could be China from all we know? |
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BTW can't we just ask the TSA to keep an eye out for dark matter, it might be cheaper than all the LHC malarkey |
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Suitcases are only temporary requirements that just so happen to align with airport security encounters, so one might use this tech to supercool liquid into the shape of a suitcase, which would slowly sublimate away over the course of one's trip thereby saving the hassle of storing the suitcase when not traveling, which is like 98% of the time. |
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Ha - the rule says "no tools" but read this bit.... |
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"Wrenches/Pliers/Screwdrivers (seven inches or less in length) OK. So it's ok to bring a screwdriver unto a plane as long as it's less than 7 inches long! (see link) |
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Don't believe me - scroll down through the list in the link. Note - this is the US government's official TSA site. I suggest printing this out, and bringing it for all passengers who wish to travel carrying nice long sharp screwdrivers unto a plane. |
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How safe do you feel with these numpties in control? |
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// What it won't do is win you any friends with the TSA. // |
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If you're sad enough to want to be friends with a TSA employee, you are ipso-facto dumb as a brick wall, and carrying liquids onto an aircraft is probably the least of your problems. |
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// How safe do you feel with these numpties in control? // |
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Safe enough never to travel on civil aircraft - strictly GA or military for us. |
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Most amusing to observe a prospective passenger sent back by the loadmaster because he was not lugging all the ammunition he had been given to carry aboard ... |
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My one interaction with the TSA was at whatever the airport is in Birmingham, Alabama. For reasons not worth going into here, I was wearing my kilt to travel and was stopped by the TSA who wanted to ensure a seemingly very thoughtful and thorough examination of my kilt-pin was carried out by the pudding-faced, close-eyed TSA agent (who bore in his manner a more than a passing resemblance to Keith Lard) which was at long last - 20 minutes last! - resolved by my pointing out that without the pin, there was a real risk that my kilt would waft uncontrollably open mid-flight, thus giving the genteel Alabaman passengers the entirely unwanted sight of a Scottish white pudding. Agent Lard decided that on balance he would rather be responsible for a flight being hijacked than someone catching sight of a penis. So, in short, if the TSA propose to take some item of your property off you before you board a flight, threaten to wave your cock at a trolley dolly and good sense will win the day. |
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Yeah, that sounds like them alright. |
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My TSA encounter anecdote is not nearly as amusing, but
ironically telling of the haphazardly misplaced priorities
typical of Homeland Security's valiant efforts to defend the
citizens of this great nation from their own civil liberties: |
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[The Alterother] and his father [Doctorother] enter an
unspecified international airport in the State of
Maine, whereupon they immediately encounter a Border
Patrol agent and his very friendly dog. They exchange
polite banter while the dog closely investigates [The
Alterother]'s hands and trousers. [Alterother] responds as
he normally would, by crouching to greet the dog and
engage in play; meanwhile it is quickly revealed that
[Doctorother] is a veterinarian of statewide repute and has
acquaintances in common with the agnt through the law
enforcement
community. Hands are shaken all around before father and
son go on their way with nary an ID check. |
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"You aren't carrying anything you shouldn't be, are you?"
[Doctorother] asks quietly as they near the domestic
terminal. |
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"Of course not, but I manicured a huge crop of bud this
morning." (both are aware that no amount of handwashing
can completely remove the scent of fresh cannabis enough
to get past a drug dog, so the subject is not raised) |
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"If the TSA have a dog I probably can't talk them out of
strip searching you." |
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The TSA do have a dog, and it completely ignores [The
Alterother] but goes nuts over [Doctorother]. No strip
search is conducted, but the good doctor's pockets are
emptied, revealing three Pupperoni dog treats. The same
conversation that took place with the CBP is now repeated
with the TSA while [The Alterother] plays with their bomb
dog. |
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Well, they seem to have missed the roughly 40 kilos of water each passenger is made up of, which could drained and then used for nefarious purposes... |
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//Well, they seem to have missed the roughly 40 kilos of
water each passenger is made up of, which could drained
and then used for nefarious purposes...// |
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Oh hell. The airlines will hear of this, the savings to be had
by dehydrating each passenger by 10 kilos will be too
tempting. |
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Why do you think they only pressurize the cabin to about the
equivalent of 8000 ft AMSL ? Water evaporates from the cargo (=
passengers) and is exhausted to the exterior. At lower pressures, it
evaporates faster. |
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