h a l f b a k e r yLike gliding backwards through porridge.
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T++
A 'quintessentially English' programming language | |
I am not sure exactly how it will work but it should have the following features:
- Syntax is similar to C++ but with much more emphasis placed on punctuation.
- It is class-sensitive and strongly stereotyped.
- Each T++ program runs in a separate memory space known as a Virtually Ruled
Empire (VRE). When the system is started T++ quickly establishes an empire then, after an undefined period of exclusive use of all system resources, it grudgingly releases control to other software.
- A singleton known as the 'Monarch' is notionally responsible for scheduling. In later versions this object will be a façade to the more complex 'Government' interface.
- One of the unique features of T++ is 'subject-orientated programming' where thread priorities depend largely on the number of references to the Monarch.
Top tips
- T++ is difficult to maintain because it uses self-deprecating code and will tend to discard even rather good methods after a while.
- In addition be careful about diagnostic tools as T++ will often claim to be using more resources (e.g. memory, disk, etc) based on some historic figure rather than current usage.
- It has the annoying tendency to rename remote objects after the object that found them. This is particularly true of objects in exotic locales.
- It is possible for T++ to interact with other languages through the using the RNI (Restless Native Interface). However, it may throw an UnseemlyException if too many callback methods are used.
- The compiler is excessively polite and will apologise for your coding mistakes
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"- Syntax is similar to C++ but with much more emphasis placed on punctuation."
Is this possible?!?!?! |
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I like the "polite compiler" idea, but didn't Microsoft already ruin the politeness idea with their fakery? ("The program has instructed the computer to terminate it in an unusual way. Would you like to send an error report to Microsoft?" Yeah, right, thanks for asking) |
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T++ apps are unfortunately
susceptible to D++ viral attacks:
'Texan' style code that preempts
WMD function calls with massive
Denial of Service bombardments
and infiltrations. |
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"The last good thing written in C++ was Pachelbel's Canon." |
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When interacting with a program written in a foreign language, T++ will simply pass data to the foreign program in T++ format, and if this generates an error, will do the same again, but louder. |
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T++ is a really good language for prototyping games but really bad at actually running them. + |
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I don't understand the whole concept.. |
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And of course, you can have it in any colour that you like, as long as you choose pink. |
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Wouldn't it be "Sort of a bit more than T" rather than "T++"? Otherwise it's blowing its own trumpet rather too much. |
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How about grammar, scan and
diction? C++ is bereft of any. |
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C++ is the most vowel-retentive
language outside C and provokes
coders into thinking they are clever
if they can obfusticate and
compress...can someone tell them
"IT IS NOT INTERPRETED!" |
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I say. That's really quite good, old boy. But don't get big headed about it, all right? |
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Everything stops for T++. |
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one can't practice coding in T++.
Somethings are Just Not Done. |
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Actually, ++T is more efficient. |
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Attempts to compile syntax which is undefined will result in the T++ compiler finding all uses of such syntax in all visible modules, assessing the context of each occurrence, deducing the intended effect, and then arbitrarily defining it as something completely different and telling you - politely - that your usage was wrong all along. |
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There are some great puns here involving "The sun never sets on the..." but I can't quite put them together. |
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Of course, T++ syntax will only allow "programmes" to be written, and will reject variables called "meter", unless they refer to measuring instruments, and not units of length. M-I-F syntax will distinguish the class of the true T++ programmer. |
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At 17:00 GMT all T++ compilers close and pass all code over to T+cake. |
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And the civil-service version of the compiler has to be programmed in Latin. (No, I didn't mean ISO Latin1) |
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//A 'quintessentially English' programming language//
I feel a truly English programming language ought to mind its Ps and Qs |
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