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THEM
With apologies to Gary Larson. | |
THEM - Topical, Holistic, Enterprise Media corporation, and its PR division THEY - Topical, Holistic and Enterprising for You. Salary negotiable, must have own green biro. New employees may be required to sign confidentiality agreements.
Are you a self-motivated person who wants to make a difference
in people's lives? Well, never mind that. We are currently looking for self-reliant, self-confident (or just plain self-ish) individuals to become field operatives for the worldwide media consultancy, THEM. We at THEM have a number of vacancies in our consumer-relations division, THEY, for operatives to work in the field. Your responsibilities are as wide-ranging as our ambitions - THEY are central to politics, dispensing advice and guidance to major governments everywhere. THEY help support cabals, juntas and other political organizations worldwide - THEY aim to be everywhere. An important part of your responsibilities will be passing on feedback from customers - we like our clients to think that THEY are always listening. As our past record shows, THEY have frequently been central in some of the biggest events of the last century - when aliens finally arrive, they will definitely be working with THEM!
Housed in the same offices, THEY are in constant communication with THEM, and operatives who start work in PR often end up working for THEM in a more direct role. Opportunites are available for presentable people to act as spokepersons who will be instrumental in putting forth what THEY say, and also as customer service operators, where your main duties will include managing inquiries from people with foil-lined soup bowls on their heads.
So if you are naturally attracted to people wearing foil-lined soup bowls on their heads, then get in touch with us. THEY are looking for you! We at THEM want YOU to be part of US! Serious applications only please, no conspiracy websites.
... so I guess the idea would be to set up a media consultancy which will do very little but acquire a bogus authority every time someone says, 'well, that's what THEY say, anyway.' I reckon that by claiming the third person plural as our own, the free advertising we get should mean that by 2020 the world will be run by THEM.
Foil-lined soup bowl
Combination_20anti-...deflecting_20hat_2e
Inspired (if that's the word) by this... [moomintroll, May 09 2005]
THE LAW
THE_20LAW
God, I'm such a linkwhore. [AfroAssault, May 12 2005]
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Annotation:
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THEY said to tell YOU to expect a cease-and-desist from THEM regarding the use of THEIR trademarked and copyrighted intellectual property any time now. |
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WEll, I guess THEY could, if I hadn't just invented THEM. And how did you know I work for YOU, anyway? |
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I just started working for the Society for Silencing Hysterical Hypochondriacs, Heretical Herbalists and Healthy Horticulturalists, and I think they would prefer you kept quiet about THEM. |
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///if I hadn't just invented THEM./// |
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So effective is THEIR propaganda and subliminal programming that EVERYBODY concludes that they came up with the concept of THEM all on their own. |
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But what's in it for ME (Mach Enterprises)? |
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WE are not amused, I on the other hand are beside themselves. |
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Null Owner Tangible, Hazy and Illusionary Negotiable Gilts [Mach]? |
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Ha, for a second I thought "What the hell does Not Hing mean?" Just one of THOSE days, I guess. |
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\\We at THEM want YOU to be part of US!\\ What part of the US? |
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Youtah. (falls off chair giggling hysterically) |
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Soup. Youtah one puta head in there? |
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I vote + on this idea. But my computer won't let me klick it, so just to let you know how I vote. |
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I vote + on this idea. But my computer won't let me klick it, so just to let you know how I vote. |
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Okay, which one is the real [zeno], and which one is a cyborg imposter planted by THEM? |
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Surprise ending: they're BOTH cyborg impostor plants. |
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"US, (us, us) and THEM (them, them)
And after all we’re only ordinary men.
ME, (me, me,) and YOU. (you, you,)
GOD only knows it’s not what WE would choose to do."
cyborg implants must have been foreseen by [jutta]; therefore, not allowed to vote. |
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On [zeno]'s behalf, I will now vote for myself. That is, as long as one of them was the real [zeno]. Oh, but if one of THEM is the real [zeno], then [zeno] must be one of THEM, so... who's operating the cyborg? |
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(retracts vote in confusion) |
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Do THEY work with THE LAW? |
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Wow, [Detly]... just noticed our reg. dates are two days apart. Not important, but that's amazing! |
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Coincidence? I think NOT. |
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I just tried searching for this, but it's been made invisible, what is [jutta] hiding??? |
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How was the search engine to know you were searching for this one occurence of "them?" [jutta] is hiding nothing but the search engine ignores queries for really common words lest the result set include nearly every idea in the database, "them" being one such example. |
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That or the entire halfbakery is a cover operation for THEM. It is a shame that you need to apply for an account these days otherwise I would be tempted to create an account for [THEM]. |
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