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Most have heard the expression “you can’t swing a cat
without hitting a ______.” For example, Protestants in
some places might say “you can’t swing a cat without
hitting a Catholic.” Democrats in the US would probably
say “you can’t swing a cat without hitting a right-wing
Republican.” Many
of us might say “you can’t swing a
cat
without hitting an idiot.”
Sometimes in life one has a strong sense of things being
out
of sorts or off-kilter, but you can’t quite say what
exactly
it is that is pissing you off so much.
It seems obvious to me that cats, particularly when
properly
swung by the tail, can be an effective tool to determine
just what or who it is that has increased in population,
occurrence, degree of obnoxicity, or proximity to
oneself.
The logical next step, not often employed, would seem to
be to use the cat to remove a fair number of these
problems. When swung by the tail long enough, cats will
obligingly extend their claws, and wail hideously. Woes
begone.
(not sure about the category on this one...)
An Example
http://www.travelpo...262117492/tpod.html
I didn't make it up. [Boomershine, Nov 01 2010]
And Another
http://answers.yaho...071201144102AAt9Uty
Just saying.... [Boomershine, Nov 01 2010]
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The cat referred to in the expression "not enough room to swing a cat" is the instrument of punishment known as "a cat of nine tails". I love cats, so I'm afraid I cannot approve of any idea that suggests injuring them, so that bone is mine. |
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[link] Also, isn't our mission here sometimes to take
already baked ideas, unbake them a bit, as it were? I
thought so. |
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[xenzag] I understand. I figured the cat would
survive this well enough. Nine lives and all. Besides,
8th/7 will be along soon to bun this for the very
reason you boned it. It all works out. I respect our
differences. |
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[bigsleep] Excellent idea, that harness. Not so likely
to lose your grip on the animal. |
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I love cats, but if I had home intruders and no weapon
besides, I would use a box of cats for effective problem
neutralization. In order to flesh this out in the realm of an
idea, it should be a rigid soundproof backpack with one
cat in it that can be opened upon request. The home
security version consists of a fleet of soundproof boxes of
cats residing in any room of the house that can be opened
similarly. Safer than guns. [+] |
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You cannot balance any equation that has cruelty as one of its factors. 8th/7 has a sickness that needs some therapy. Time spent in a confined space with about a thousand cats would be my suggested cure. (This would be like heaven for me by the way) |
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[xenzag] I have no desire for any cruelty here. |
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So, how's about we use an already dead cat--which
died of natural causes? This sort of negates the
second function of my idea, but I can live with that. |
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Nothing in the swinging cat expression says the cat
has to be alive. |
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Just trying to get along here. |
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<serving suggestion> Science: Unit of Measurement |
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I have never heard the expression 'swing a cat' without the word 'dead' in front of 'cat'. As in; you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Tim Horton's. |
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... does that make this Schrodingers euphemism? |
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//Democrats in the US would probably say “you can’t swing a
cat without hitting a right-wing Republican.”// Better
example if you exchange "Republican" with "Democrat."
Preponderance of Republicans (Democrats) is negatively
(positively) correlated with population density. |
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[Boomer], I don't think a dead cat would work nearly as well. That said, you might have to have a fairly prodigious supply of cats because, once swung, Fluffy is not likely to fall for that "...here, kitty kitty kitty..." trick again. Bun [+]. |
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[mousposture] - just how dense does the population have to be to vote Republican? |
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// Besides, 8th/7 will be along soon to bun this // |
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Are we THAT predictable ... ? |
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// 8th/7 has a sickness that needs some therapy // |
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... and Cat Swinging Therapy in a small room would be our choice. |
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Perhaps we could employ the cat's inate ability to locate these irritants more effectively. |
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Rather than swinging the cat itself, create an interface which allows the cat to operate heavy machinery, such as those used for demolishing buildings. The cat may then carry out the task quickly and effectively. |
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can't throw a rock 'round here without hittin' somebody swinging a cat. |
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Can't throw a toaster without hitting a guy throwing a rock... |
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You could fire a shot in here and not hit a toaster... |
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You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses ... |
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As anyone here had the misfortune of garbing a cat by its tail?
Its sort of like a tiger by its tail, but more of a hand full.
Boomer if you try it the person most likely to get injurer is you, and that’s before the cat lover get you. |
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//you can’t swing a cat without hitting an idiot.//
Why would you want to avoid hitting an idiot? |
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//a confined space with about a thousand cats//
You can't swing a cat without hitting a cat. |
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// Why would you want to avoid hitting an idiot?
// |
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It's not that, it's just that there are so many things that are
better for hitting idiots with. |
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