h a l f b a k e r yFewer ducks than estimates indicate.
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It appears from a brief and unrepresentative study of the available literature that some individuals identify themselves as "lactose intolerant".
In a modern, democratic* and culturally diverse society, such blatant prejudice is simply not acceptable.
Therefore, BorgCo Social Engineering propose
to roll out a programme of re-education for these obnoxious bigots; this will consist of random violent beatings, lots of shouting, sleep deprivation, isolation, and forced consumption of dairy products until a permanent change of attitude is achieved.
*Allegedly
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Can fructose be done with two dolls with genitalia? |
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I had a weird idea that diabetes was the result of liver
storage boredom. All this machinery and getting the same
old monosaccharides. |
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// a programme of re-education.. .. random violent
beatings, lots of shouting, sleep deprivation, isolation, and
forced consumption of dairy products// |
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Or, you know, supplementation with lactase tablets. |
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Foods with cane juice, cane sugar, and high froctose corn syrup may be praised for their sugar diversity, unless it's discovered that they are systematically excluding some underprivileged sugar like lactose |
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Lactose could be taught with a guillotine and a foot. |
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I understand that in some restaurants, even in the most
progressive parts of the world, they still refuse to serve
certain macronutrients. |
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Interestingly, picric acid (trinitrophenol) is both an explosive and a highly effective laxative. |
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Indeed, for the laxative effect, it doesn't even need to be ingested*. In response to the question "What's in that shell you've just dug up ?", the reply "Hmm, the markings suggest a picric acid filling" are more than sufficient to provoke instantaneous lower rear sphincter dilatation in even the most sanguine of military archaeologists ... |
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* or introduced into the alimentary canal in amy way whatsoever. |
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I detect some outrageous cultural appropriation going on here; I
mean, has anyone even talked to any actual pobbles? |
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