h a l f b a k e r yCogito, ergo sumthin'
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Take one of those funny pairs of socks with individual toes knitted in. White cotton I think would be best.
Cut neatly across the sock just behind the toes, so that all five toes remain joined by a small amount of fabric.
Take 5 strawberries graded by size and place one into each of the resultant
pockets.
[link]
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Take one of those unworn funny pairs of socks |
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^
They are never white..usually funny coloured, too. |
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5 berries and a free sock ? Catchy merchandising! |
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*sock may be mutilated, incomplete, or otherwise unwearable. |
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For the more macho, a black kevlar strawberry bandoleer |
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Modern strawberries don't need protection. They
could be used as bullets if they weren't too
mutationally huge to fit down the barrel. |
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Includes small false moustache and dark glasses for strawberries entering witness protection program. |
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This idea is very bizarre. Me thinks. And not in such a
good way. |
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What happens to the remaining sock? Does it just
linger on, unable to accept the mutilation of its
partner? Does it hide for endless years behind the
washing machine, creeping out as every spin cycle
begins, hoping to catch a glimpse of five knitted
toes? |
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Does it peer out from behind the drain hose as
the machine is emptied, day after week after
year, not letting itself believe that it will never
again see its partner? Does it dream of the long
summer days spent folded against its soulmate in
the safety of the sock drawer? |
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To you, it's a novelty five-strawberry holder. To a
washed-out, demented and fading piece of
knitwear it was a partner. |
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No, silly, you snip it the same and have a pair of strawberry protectors. |
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Frankly, I don't know how you sleep at nights. |
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Those socks are more comfortable with the toes cut off anyway, and you don't have to concern yourself with proper footedness. |
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A misnomer methinks, the strawberries have little protection encased in sock toes. It's more an enabler of strawberry association, a quintet of berries held as one. |
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We'll need a new word for this strawberry gang of five in the book of fruit and vegetable collectives. |
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Graded by size, you say, hence we must conclude the berries will be placed in sock toes accordingly. Will the big berry be the captain of the team? Must it be? |
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I hesitate to suggest the correlated raspberry/glove-finger gizmo you might create, with its five-berries-per-digit capacity. It might best left be for another time. |
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