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Stomach Settlers

 Pioneer shaped antacid tablets.
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New from the folks that brought you Experi-mints and Predica-mints it's Stomach Settlers.These tasty new antacid tablets come in a tin shaped just like a conestoga wagon! Tucked inside are chewable fast-acting expansionist folk in a variety of minty flavors. A new frontier in acid indigestion relief. Mmmm chalky!
—Grimrock, Oct 05 2000

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       Will these tablets push West?
—thumbwax, Oct 05 2000
   

       Um, South.
—Grimrock, Oct 05 2000
   

       Different "strengths" of this could be sold with a naming scheme of different Nationalities...correlating to how aggressive that country has been through history in it's settling. (Dutch, English, Spanish etc.)   

       Although, I do not know enough history to know if there is any significant difference in how different countries "settled".
—blahginger, Oct 05 2000
   

       I've had vitamins shaped like rockets and astronauts. Like the teddy bear kind, they're marketed to parents that feel the shape will increase acceptance from the children. Tasted awful though.   

       The original settlers idea is just dead on with all its glorious corniness, I think; there's already enough alien-shaped stuff out there. Although, if it could make you glow in the dark .. hm.
—jutta, Oct 05 2000
   

       UltimaTUMS. Your heartburn stops or else..
—On-or-about, Oct 07 2000
   

       I think if you made them glow-in-the-dark you might have more problems than simple indigestion, jutta. Like radiation poisoning, possibly, since many glow-in-the-dark materials do have mildly radioactive components.
—BigThor, Oct 10 2000
   

       Everybody knows radiation doesn't hurt you. It gives you superpowers like x-ray vision and invisibility.
—AfroAssault, Nov 19 2000
   

       Bad idea. Not all settlers kept moving until they reached the Pacific Ocean; many settled down where the last axle broke. The idea of little settlers stopping off around my pancreas and setting up permanent camp is too much to face in the morning when it's time to take my vitamins.
—Hawaii Boy, Feb 01 2001
   

       How about pills shaped like the active molecules that are contained in them? Fun way to learn chemistry......
—Wes, Feb 01 2001
   

       This is a nice idea.
—bristolz, Jan 10 2002
   

       I suffer from 'heartburn', and to be honest I don't care what the tablets look like as long as they ease indigestion, but I also really like this idea, If it read " It will be gone soon" on the tablet or "I know it's bad, but in a few minutes you'll feel much better" that would be a real bonus, along with the "guess which pioneer I am", my indigestion would be gone in no time.
—vimto, Jan 11 2002
   

       Yes. This is a good thing.
—futurebird, Dec 06 2003
   

       And one of my very favorite ideas on this site.
—bristolz, Dec 06 2003
   


 

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