Stock Certificate Clothing

I read that during the 1930’s great depression, stocks certificates were used to paper walls in homes as insulation. But, since the great depression advances in the technology of home insulation provide even better materials than worthless stock certificates for home insulation.

Recently, due to un-regulated ruthless bankers and the un-ethical corporate greed industry, ordinary people having their meager savings and pensions in banks and the stock markets are now left with worthless bank-deposit receipts and worthless stock certificates, facing a bleak future of high inflation and devaluation of any cash we forgot to give to the market. The paper is of high quality, with well-drawn and artful figures with high-class signatures.

The question is how to best use the beautiful but now worthless bank deposit receipts and stock certificates in a useful and environmentally carbon neutral manner, ie without burning them in frustration and anger of our government officials feeding us to deregulated thieves having ornate offices in large buildings in centers of large cities.

What I propose here is to use the receipts and certificates as clothing material, that is arranging these in a fanciful or ornate pattern on a flat surface, then sew together to create a bolt-size material. Then carefully draw the outline of clothing patterns, easily obtained from any fabric and supply store. Then carefully cut out the pieces following the instructions of the pattern envelope and finally sew the cut-pieces together.

The resulting clothing when worn in public will demonstrate how wealthy you were before the 2008 melt-down, perhaps impressing friends and potential mates with your cleverness and how trusting you were of impressive-sounding names of various but now dissolved banks and former investment advisors.

el dueno.