h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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When one goes clubbing on a Friday night, one runs the risk of having one's bottom grabbed. Although many people like that sort of attention, I am sure that there are equal amounts that’d rather keep themselves to themselves.
For the more reserved clubber, I propose the invention of trousers whose
posterior area has tiny, nettle-like barbs weaved into its outer fabric. If a Gentleman finds himself stung, the antidote can be found on the pants of a more open woman, whose outer fabrics are spliced with soothing dock leaves.
Same idea, different application
http://www.halfbake...0Porcupine_20jacket
A [pluterday] classic. Note [k_sra]'s anno regarding the Bombay Metro. [Worldgineer, Oct 26 2004]
[link]
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Boobie traps are usually not legal. I don't know about this one, though. Would the plaintiff have a case if he claimed injury and were to sue the wearer of such an article of clothing? The plaintiff might charge that, in the tight confines of a crowded club, he had inadvertently brushed against the stinging clothing. |
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Could be a case of stingus backfirus. |
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Ha, wicked! I like this one. Not only is this useful for fending off men who grope women, but for those who also take the liberty of freaking women on the dancefloor--uninvited, I might add. |
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[bristolz] Any information regarding the legality of butt traps? |
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*snort* She doesn't know what butt traps are. |
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One way to avoid the "inadvertent" claim would be to have the nettle barbs mounted on the outside on a large tube sock. A bar of soap is placed within the sock and held in place with a knot. The sock is then swung firmly into the grabbing person. |
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// *snort* She doesn't know what butt traps are. // |
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Neither do I. Got something stuck in your nose? |
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Never, never put these on inside out unless you should find yourself in a situation where rapid pant-removal is required. |
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Perhaps. Boobie means nothing, really, as it's not in the dictionary. |
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I have a friend, a male friend at that, who would appreciate this item not only for clubbing but around the house too. Poor guy, everyone loves his ass so much. |
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It does not show up on dictionary.com except as the plural. |
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Let's change the subject and talk about Mencken's "booboisie" traps. |
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sp. dock leaves
I like this idea although I would make the observation that, in these degenerate times, the "gentlemen" aren't the only ones grabbing - I've often been pinched by drunken harlots whilst out and about. Invariably, their appearance is as ugly as their nature and causes me great distress. Make clubbing boxers as well, so that letches of both genders can be repelled. [+] |
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What's the masculine for "harlot?" Perhaps it's a genderless word? |
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[bristolz] dictionary.com has "harlot" as "woman prostitute". I ran into similar difficulties from the opposite direction with "lecher" which is defined as "man given to lechery" so had to invent "letches" to cover it. T'would seem the dictionary has some out-of-date ideas about who gets up to what these days. Maybe "harlout" for the masculine? |
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how about "midnight cowboy", "hustler", (and "mimbo"a la Jerry Seinfeld) |
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and my personal favorite when I fantasize in Italian, "Gigolo" [edited ] |
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How about stinking pants. That would work just as well I think... |
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The great thing about the English language is that it's OK to make up new words, in fact, it's encouraged (by who I'm not sure, but it is). I propose harlout enter common parlance. |
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Gigolo, n'est pas [dentworth]? |
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You need 'ego-boosting money-pants': with coins and notes printed onto the seat you'll be forever getting your bum pinched. |
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Just embed pinch/fondle dectectors into the appropriate areas of your pants that trigger a recording that shouts "Oy Pervert! Get your filthy pwas off my backside!" or similar. Suitable embarrassment for them but no risk of lawsuits due to poisioning. |
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