h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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Wife: "Honey, how do I look tonight?"
Husband: "You look fine, dear."
Wife: "No, that is an incorrect response. - the card says the 'Proper Response' is: 'Wow! You look amazing in that dress!' ... No score for that one...
Try again."
This helpful aid can improve those 'hard to recover
from' painfilled relationship tests.
The cards coach husbands and boyfriends with answers to sticky questions like, "Do you really love me?" "What do you love about me?" "What are you thinking about?" "Am I fat?" "Are we busy this weekend? "Do you really want to watch the game right now?"
and for the wives and girlfriends:"Do you mind if I watch the game tonight?" "What is there to eat around here?" "Have you seen the remote?" How much did THAT cost?
From sticky questions to peaceful companionship ... a timely relationship building tool!
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Annotation:
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You look won-der-ful to-night
Yes, let's have Sex now
Sex
Sex
Yes, I mean, No, let's have Sex
Yes, having Sex
Yes, unless you're proposing Sex |
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Some humdingers that I have received as responses to questions which clearly, CLEARLY have set answers. |
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Q: Do these shoes go with my outfit?
A:"Don't worry about that, everyone will be looking at your tits" |
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Q: Can I go out like this? (going to dimly lit nightclub
A:"You look better in the dark anyway" |
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Q:I'll miss you. Will you miss me?
A:" Actually I'm glad you're not coming with me" |
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Q:Want to see my new undies/stockings combo?
A:"No thanks, I'm going to play darts" |
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Are the cards themselves sticky or just the situation? |
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If made sticky, we could get our message across by slapping the appropriate card onto the forehead of repeat offenders. |
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What's the answer to the shoes/outfit one? |
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I think a leash is more like it. Come on this system kind of promotes lying to your partner. The old fashion way is to live and learn. |
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Also the job interview version. |
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//promotes lying to your partner//
It only counts as lying if you think your partner thinks you're
sincere.
Since neither you nor your partner care about the truth of
your answer, this is what's technically* known as bullshit. |
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*Frankfurt, HG _On Bullshit_, Princeton University Press,
Princeton NJ, 2005 |
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The partner should have a complimentary set of flashcards, enabling them to indicate their actual level of sincirety. |
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On an occasion when I am asked for an honest opinion and a particularly amusing moment from 'Family Guy' pops inexplicably into my head, I need some means to express the sincerity of my response in spite of my smirk. |
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On another occasion, I may be asked for an opinion which is clearly not actually wanted. In that circumstance I need to express that my response is simply a matter of procedure. |
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//Proper Response// - //In that circumstance I need to express that my response is simply a matter of procedure.// |
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I think it's this that's the root-cause of the problem. One side is eliciting an active engagement as a signal of affection - the question (whatever it may be) is actually a method of initiating some intimacy - an invitation to share something together; While for the other, the question is taken more literally and requires an appropriate response, the preparation of which is both a gift, and a token of affection due to the effort involved in preparing it - successful delivery also allows them to carry on with whatever it was they were doing when they were interrupted - but it's the thought that counts. |
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Confusion over the difference between these anticipated/actual responses can lead to feelings of betrayal and frustration on both sides. |
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I'm surprised this hasn't more positive votes. After 34
years of marriage I would be thrilled if the answers
were more tactful and occasionally less honest. |
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