Steam-Age Kettle

So, It turns out modern ways of boiling water aren't very efficient (See link). In addition, they're boring. It's all water in, flick-a-switch-switch drudgery. It's clearly contributing to the downfall of civilization.

My idea is a more sophisticated kettle, thus. The kettle will be a terrifyingly huge and complex piece of engineering reminiscent of the steam locomotives that inspired it, only this is designed to sit on top of a gas stove, or possibly have it's own gas supply. It will consist of an outer reservoir chamber with a volume of about 3- 4 gallons, enough for quite a lot of tea, which is important, as tea is important. The inner chamber will be the boiler, perforated from bottom to top by a number of tubes. Making it a multi-tube boiler (See Link). Because gas flames are pretty clean and because the transit will be pretty short, they should be perhaps formed into a gentle helix to improve heat transfer.

Alert as to the boiling status of the water will be, predictably, provided by a whistle. Once this goes off, you may decant the nicely-boiling water into the vessel of your choice, preferably via a dangerously hot hissing-spitting brass tap. Following this you turn a series of valves on and off, some real, some for show, to allow (pre-warmed) water into the boiler from the reservoir.

The whole device should be carefully priced as to be so expensive it just exceeds the savings made by the increased efficiency. It should also require monthly maintenance by a man in a boiler suit with soot on his face. There, nice.