h a l f b a k e r yThis ain't rocket surgery.
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The Statue of Liberty in New York is a well-known cultural icon.
Perhaps it's time Europe had something similar.
The project would involve creating a gigantic statue in an appropriate
location, probably Dover, in Kent, England. It would resemble in
most
respects the original Statue of Liberty,
except for a few minor details;
in
the left hand, an open book of blank cheques, held aloft in the
right hand, a giant tablet pc which constantly flashes the message
"Come right in, nothing to pay !", and a blatant "come-hither"
expression on the face.
On the plinth is carved in huge letters (floodlit at night, of course):
"Come here, you Thais, you Poles,
You many Afghans yearning to eat free,
The asylum-seekers of your teeming shore,
Send these, your work-shy, passport-less, to me:
Free hospitals, free housing, and much more !"
The statue would be financed entirely by tax revenues extorted from
the working population at punitive rates, but only those who have
been residents and loyal servants of the Crown for at least six
generations.
On production of the relevant documents*, British passport holders
are allowed to pay a swingeing admission fee** which gains them
the privelidge of queueing in the rain*** before climbing the steep
staircase**** to the head of the statue, where they can look out to
see that the grass on the other side is indeed greener.
*Birth certificate, P45 tax payment certificate, council tax bill, bank
statement, blood donor card, and an authorisation form signed by a
Justice of the Peace, a Peer of the Realm, the applicant's Member of
Parliament, Elvis Presley, and a doctor, or God, Jesus Christ and the
Blessed Virgin Mary if a doctor is not available.
** Immigrants are exempt from the fee and documentation
requirements.
*** Immigrants may if they wish wait in the special lounge until
ready to
ascend, where comfy armchairs, widescreen TV, free wifi, and
complementary food
and drink according to their dietary requirements are provided fresh
to
order on a 24/7 basis.
**** Immigrants get special priority access to the Great Glass
Elevator.
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Complete the missing word: "What ___ fuck?" |
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Best just to kill all forriners in their homes, before they even start travelling here, just in case. Airstrikes would be cheap and effective. |
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The borg has assimilated Paul Dacre |
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//Come here, you Thais, you Poles,
You many Afghans |
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Ahem, the UK has a lot of its population living
and/or working overseas, like 6.5 million, so words
like "kettle" ,"pot","black" and "calling" do tend to
come to mind.... |
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NB you're approaching my record on footnoting. |
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// The borg has assimilated Paul Dacre // |
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Sp. "The Borg have assimilated Paul Dacre" or "The Borg
Collective has assimilated Paul Dacre". |
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Tch. Then again, expecting a scotchman to speak proper English
is going too far. |
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//a gigantic statue in ... England//
Continuing the Conservative policy of massive cap ex projects in SE England, which is apt and will please those at Dacre Acres. What will not please the residents of Daily Mail Island is the fact that the civils and construction contracts will almost definitely be awarded to non-UK enterprises. |
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//The statue would be financed entirely by tax revenues extorted from the working population at punitive rates, but only those who have been residents and loyal servants of the Crown for at least six generations.//
This is the genius: the subset of the population who have been loyal servants of the Crown for at least six generations is limited to the Royal Family itself - the plan being, it seems, to liquidate the assets of the Royal Family - and we should be careful to include the Duchies of Cornwall and Lancaster in this - bankrupt all civil list gravy trainers and spunk the cash on a statue so large and ill-located that it causes England to tip into La Manche, ordinary working people of Britain toppling and tumbling over one another, like the garbage sliding towards the fire at the end of Toy Story 3, to splosh in the grey and turbulent water, to drown, leaving on land only those interloping forrins smart enough to nail their dirty forrin feet to Englands g. & p. l. |
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You have to admire (is that the word) a smug, thoroughly saturated peoples who hold the world record for going overseas and attacking local people, building empires of the ones who look delicious, etc., then leaving a sunny place, like say, Australia, to return to a moldy sponge and defend it to the soggy end. |
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However, there may be a good idea in taking revenue from the Statue of.. and giving it to immigrants. |
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We fear we may have inadvertently deleted an annotation; if so, please re-post it. |
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//a smug, thoroughly saturated peoples who hold the world
record for going overseas and attacking local people,/ |
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You forgot back to back world war champs... two hot one
cold. |
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There is a lot that could be said about said champ status, but as many a Brit knows, when you arm 2 million or so Muslim Indians to fight your war, how can you be shocked if they end up in your neighborhood later? |
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"According to a 2012 annual report by the National Park Service, 3.7 million people visited Liberty Island in 2011, generating $174 million in economic activity and supporting 2,218 jobs." |
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//3.7 million people visited Liberty Island in 2011,
generating $174 million// |
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So, in fact, 3.7 million cheapskates visited Liberty
Island. |
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Somewhwere in here there's a point, but it's a) not likely going to be received well in this company, and b) not being made well to begin with. |
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"They don't have sarcasm on Betelgeuse, and Ford Prefect often
failed to notice it unless
he was concentrating." - Douglas Adams. |
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something something sarcastic aliens, smiley face. |
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Bone for anything remotely involving libertrollianism. |
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Does it have a giant frickin lazer beam on its head for sinking ships ?
— bigsleep, Jun 18 2015 |
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is it ok if I post a LOL right about here? |
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