Staple Stamping Stapler

The workday was progressing slowly as usual from inside employee number 785673's cubicle. Just as he decided to readjust the height of his seat and declination of the backrest, the mailcart shot past and dropped a medium sized parcel into his inbox.

After scrutinizing it momentarily and deciding it didn't contain anything that would require his immediate attention, he slowly peeled away the shipping tape and packaging to reveal bold commerical type reading: "SSS Deluxe!"

"The Staple Stamper Stapler Deluxe!" he exclaimed aloud, quickly tearing it from the box and holding it up high to the ceiling to be illuminated by the flourescents above, as he rotated slowly around on his arse.

It was only when his supervisor approaced and inquired as to what it was, that he explained: "It's a stapler that uses straight wire instead of ready made staples! Although it looks like an ordinary stapler, it has special mechanisms enclosed that cut-to-length, bend and eject staples with the same downward force used to staple papers together. All you have to do is load it with straight wire!"

"What's the benefit of that?" inquired the supervisor. "Well, it cuts a step out of value added production and more straight wire can be shipped in a smaller package than staples, which reduces stapling costs drastically!" responded the enthused employee in a single stagnant breath.

“Yeah! The wire is loaded in and is pushed forward by a similar spring mechanism as any other stapler. Then when you push on it, the cutter cuts the wire and presses the wire over the staple template inside and then retracts to release the ready made staple into the paper!” “The only difference is that the staple comes out vertically instead of horizontally!”

But the supervisor was gone because he didn’t really give a shit.