h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Leave out the "a" as a loving tribute to our in-perfection
as a
species and the man who first said it.
We'll set foot on thousands of new worlds. I propose that
when we make that first step on Mars or Europa, we copy
Neil
Armstrong's words exactly. We'll have a tendency to feel
very
arrogant
every time we set foot on another planet and
this
might be a nice reminder of who we are, less than
perfect
humans who are nonetheless, capable of amazing things.
This would be somewhat akin to the Roman conqueror
having
"All glory is fleeting" whispered in his ear at times of
great
triumph.
By the way, I think Neil did say "...one small step for a
man..." but it got cut off in the transmission or he just
didn't say it very loud. He did after all have other things
on his mind, but that's how the quote was remembered.
An incredibly dreary and badly written article on the subject
http://www.telegrap...for-a-man.-.-..html
Have no idea what this guy is blathering about but it's supposed to shed some light on the quote. [doctorremulac3, Aug 26 2012]
I say we let this guy write it
http://www.youtube....watch?v=eB5VXJXxnNU
[doctorremulac3, Aug 26 2012]
Some good suggestions from Eddie...
http://www.youtube....watch?v=vITJdaJ4xxM
[theleopard, Aug 28 2012]
What not to say.
http://www.snopes.com/quotes/mrgorsky.asp
"Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky" [st3f, Aug 30 2012]
[link]
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Mankind takes the next giant leap, and commemorates it by copying a phrase from 200 years ago (by the time we get to Mars)? I think it's more fun to have a surprise new inspirational quote that will inspire for decades. |
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"Earth was once a lovely planet, and we regret destroying it." |
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That starts the new world off on kind of a downer doesn't it? |
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By the way, I was trying to find other suggestions for a first statement NASA might have considered. Not finding anything yet. I'm guessing it was the PR department that came up with "One small step..." but there's not a lot of info on the web that I'm seeing. |
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"Earth was a miserable wasteland, and today we can celebrate now that it has been destroyed!" |
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I think we should have this guy write it. (See link) |
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"death to every species that fails to submit to the mighty
human homogeneity" |
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Gotta admit, it's got a nice zing to it. |
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“This place is a dump. Why did you drag me all the way here? I hate you.” |
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I wasn't planning on making suggestions, my point is that it is more fun to be surprised by whatever the future astronauts/PR departments think up so we can say "wow, that's a good quote!" |
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I think the first person to step onto Mars will say something chinese. |
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Road signage next to Intergalactic Highway: "Former location of a planet called 'Earth,' replaced because they refused to take care of the place. |
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Well, I guarantee, whoever has the wherewithal to travel to and set foot on a new planet will say whatever they want. And deservedly so. |
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I'd go with Neil's flub. I think it's charmingly human. And I think there would be something comforting about saying the same thing that other brave explorers before had said. Like, reminding you that others were in your boots and did their duty fearlessly and that you're the latest in a proud tradition. Almost like a prayer or something. |
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Ehh, (shrug) my two cents. |
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My opinion on the Armstrong quote is simply that he should have stopped talking after saying, "That's one small step for man." With "man" being short for "mankind". Because reaching the Moon really is a trivially small step, compared to all those other steps needed to get to other places. |
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At the same time, just about any other reasonable "step" is still small, compared to possible later steps. So, if you want a "standardized reached-a-new-world proclamation" my preference would be this: |
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"That's one more small step for man." |
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I suppose my vote would be for; "Yet another small step for mankind."
Though if it were 'me' to first set foot... well, I can't guarantee that it wouldn't be more along the lines of, "In your face Flanders!" so I should probably set my sights on Saturn... or maybe Pluto... |
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How about, "...Oh, for crying out loud! This one's dusty as well..." |
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What if the person landing isn't English, American or
Australian? What if (gods forbid) they were French?
Or Chinese? |
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"Nous sommes arrivée. Garçon!" |
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"Eeewww … what IS that I've just stepped in?
Aw, that's DISGUSTING …" |
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Ooops. I just thought of something. |
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Since none of you caught that I win the "Most
Obnoxiously Politically Correct Annotation" award
for
the day. |
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And we can stop the voting. The award for best
new proclamation while setting foot on a new
planet is: "In your face Flanders!" (Band plays,
confetti falls, 2 Frys takes the stage
and stands next to the runway model helping
her hold up the comically oversized foam-core
check.") |
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I was going to suggest "One small step for me, one
giant leap for all you fat losers sitting at home on
your bloated asses watching me on
your holoview
screens." but Vernon's 'That's one more small step
for
man." has a little nicer ring to it. |
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Given that the step will likely be taken by an A.I., not a blood and flesh being, I suggest "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for robotkind." |
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//Given that the step will likely be taken by an A.I.,
not a blood and flesh being// |
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At some point they'll be merged. Then the "...one
small step for man.." thing will get confusing. |
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// At some point they'll be merged. // |
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We've been telling you that for a while, but
would you listen … ? |
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How about the old pilots’ saying: “any landing you
can walk away from’s a good one”? |
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I believe investment bankers now use that one. |
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Although it's a great line, I think that Armstrong's sense of comedy timing was woefully lacking. As he emerged from the lander he should have started with 'That's one small step...' then done a pratfall down the steps, picked himself up and dusted himself off before continuing with 'a giant leap for mankind.'
As for future quotes. I pretty much agree with what doctorremulac3 said. But, if I have to pick one, I'd go with...
Bold Explorer: [Surveys barren rocks with a grin, and rubs hands together in that avaricious 'I want more' kind of a gesture before emitting an evil cackle and announcing] "The phone company will never find me here!". |
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//How about the old pilots’ saying// That one doesn't really apply in space. Should be "any landing that doesn't break your ascent stage is a good one" |
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There's a small but significant group in
favour of "<wild gesticulations> AHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The fools! They said
it couldn't be done! I'll crush them all! CRUSH
THEM ALL! <clenched fists raised above head
and shaken>" |
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I suggest a mixture of DrBs and 8s ideas. |
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Step down, rub hands together and say
"BUUWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" |
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Der Adler ist gelandet. Welchen Weg ist Polen? |
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Even before I used the online translator I figured out
a)
it's German b) Polen is probably German for Poland
and c) this can't be good. |
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"God," he cries, dying on Mars, "God, we made it!" |
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On this timely news article from today. |
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They sent the message "Others have tried, only
America has succeeded." to the Mars rover which
sent it back. |
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They did not play it on speakers on the planet's
surface like I originally reported, so the exercise
was even more futile and goofy than the speaker
thing I thought they did. |
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I would use this as exhibit A of how much NASA
has lost it's clarity of mission. |
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NASA still has its clarity of mission; it just
needs to recruit some new Nazis. |
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NB Polen ist dort druben, durch der
Sudetenland … |
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<Obligatory Basil Fawlty> |
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"Don't mention the War! " |
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//Polen ist dort druben, durch der Sudetenland//
Your umlaut fell off. |
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Well, it's the first sign of Autumn, dontcherknow... |
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"We come in peace. We mean you no Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggh- hhghghhhh!!!!" |
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"Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World." |
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Just for the hubris of it. |
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// Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World // |
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... and we've landed here and it's BLOODY HOT ... |
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... the food's too greasy and you can't get a decent cuppa anywhere. Here's a photo of the landing site, I put an x on our spaceship.. |
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venimus vidimus vicimus... |
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By the time we set foot on myriad other planets we might not be fully human anymore but I suspect there'll still be complaints about the local cuisine. |
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"The journey was pleasant enough, but when we
arrived, we found the coffee and tea making
facilities left a lot to be desired!" |
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"Did someone remember the sea shell necklace? No!?
For fuck's sake. Johnson, take off your watch. Yes,
now. " |
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"Ich bin ein [name of planet]er!" |
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"That's one small step <clap> <clap> man, one giant leap for mankind." |
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