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As I stand in front of my porcelain post proving true the wisdom that you can only rent the beer, it occurs to me; the splashes of my own urine lavishing my legs in a slightly cold, but wholly nauseating way is really something that should be stopped... but for now I've got beer to drink.
Fast Forward
I
think it would be possible to make a powder, possibly based off harmless (even edible) plant fiber (cellulose) that when added to water would, in seconds, thicken the water enough to reduce its splash factor substantially. You could keep a dish of it right on your toilet tank and throw a pinch in right before you pee. V2, would possibly be in some kind of super-fast dissolving pouch, so you don't even have to touch the powder cause that would freak some people.
From a commercial angle, since women probably still do most of the shopping and most of the bathroom cleaning, you probably don't even have to sell men on the idea, it'll be "sit down, or use the powder you pig!"
Thixotropic compound
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thixotropy
widely known to exist? by me anyway [xenzag, Oct 25 2007]
[link]
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How would you flush/clean it? |
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the "powder-you-pig!" i feel like there's an HB idea in there somewhere, but i can't quite seem to tease it out! |
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I've heard about putting gelatin powder in a toilet. Supposed to be a good prank after it sets up, causing more splash. Plus, they have to scoop the gel out by hand for a good portion of it before they can flush it. |
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to address a couple of the points brought up...
Why not sit down or kneel? For the same reason that an oxygen tank doesn't stop this guy from smoking, or that 450lb. guy from modestly partaking in the offerings at the nearest chinese buffet. Nobody wants to know how we can stop this at all costs, just what might be a minimally invasive way of solving a minor nuisance. |
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Also, we're not making Jell-O here, we're talking a modest increase in viscosity, think maybe your Aunt Tina's Never-Fail-Always-Too-Thin gravy, or perhaps Drano-like. Just enough not to splash, but still flushes just fine. Then, since it's really just fine plant material, it will biodegrade quickly and by 1.5 months nearly 100% gone. Or perhaps a starch could be used which would break down even faster. |
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It could be something which floats, allowing the incoming fluid to pass through the powder, but absorbing additional energy to avoid excessive splash-back. |
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Kind of like peeing on thin ice - once you have a hole established, good targeting leads to a splash-free experience. |
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I wonder if it has to be a disposable powder. Perhaps small spheres of the right buoyancy could be created which remain the bowl even after flushing to save the environment. Technical tip here: magnetic filters to avoid loss of spheres! |
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Add a viscous liquid with a specific gravity less than one to your water bowl. Balance is important, not to viscous, not to volatile. Cooking oil is about right. |
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A three-to-five second stream of shaving cream, applied to the water in a toilet bowl, will spread out over the surface of the water in a few minutes. In doing so, it forms a thick, smooth layer of foam which persists for several days even after multiple flushings. It has the added advantage of forming a vapour barrier.
A practical product would leave out any shaving-enhancing ingredients that don't contribute to its usability as a splash suppresant and also any which would leave rings. It could be further improved by adding foam stabilizers, bleach and cleaning agents.
It would also help to have a spray which could rapidly dissolve the current layer of foam, when one wants to apply a fresh one. |
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