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No Hassle Toilet

Adjust the water level so there's no splash and no accidental dippage of hands in the water.
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We all know how annoying, and rather disgusting, it can be to have water splash up while going to the bathroom. I think this can be avoided by adjusting the level of the water via a pump mechanism controlled by a toggle by the toilet. The more distance the feces falls the more splash it makes, so if one sits down and raises the water, there will be very little room for the feces to splash, it will be more like slipping it into the water.
I know this is rather icky to think about, but we are talking about inventing a toilet, so these are the problems in question. Anyway, afterward, one can toggle the water level down, and this will make it less likely to either dip one's hand in the water, or dip the tp in the water. (less likely than a regular toilet, obviously much less likely than when the water level is fully raised in this adjustable toilet.)
So this is what I propose. What do the halfie's think?
nratzan, May 31 2003

Ain't no splashin' at the old Kito place. http://www.qsl.net/.../kia53/outhouse.jpg
[Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004]

Turd Twister http://www.turdtwis...php?ref=313&sid=100
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004]

everything you never wanted to know about Thomas Crapper's contribution to western civilization. http://home.howstuffworks.com/toilet.htm
no pump needed. siphon design and tank design will have great influence on bowl water level. [ato_de, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Don't think it would help. Over the years I've used alot of toilets, some with high water levels and some with low, and what I've noticed is that the splash is directly proportional to the distance the doodoo descends.   

       Furthermore, the toilet bowl is really such a hostile environment for a water pump. remember it will have to draw water from the bowl into the pump mechanism. I would imagine the pump would quickly become fouled and/or clogged.
dijontoothpaste, May 31 2003
  

       (sp: hassle)
tekym, May 31 2003
  

       There were some toilets in a German air base, that had a kind of ledge formed in the front half, and the water basin in back. My guess was it allowed folks to perform inspections -- to check for medical conditions. But it would also prevent splashing as this idea described. Upon flushing, water blasted the ledge clean.
"Go" various places overseas, and you'll find some odd, gross, and scary toilet arrangements. Some are splash-proof. And some require instruction.
Amos Kito, May 31 2003
  

       We've already done this, but since the author declines to look for it, so do I. Just take my word.   

       'bone
snarfyguy, May 31 2003
  

       The toilet should completely *drain* the water before you go doo doo, for maximum splash protection. After you go doo doo, it can fill back up again and then you are safe. After you are done and you flush, it should drain again while you wipe (I'll never understand you sit-down wipers) and then refill when you are done.
phundug, May 31 2003
  

       *barf*
thumbwax, May 31 2003
  

       Good point, [thumbwax]. I guess the water level should be lowered for barfing. That way you don't get your hair wet (if you have long hair).
dijontoothpaste, May 31 2003
  

       For your convenience, I deliver these fishbones in a chamber pot.
lurch, May 31 2003
  

       How 'bout like brushing your teeth with your mouth closed?
lintkeeper2, Jun 02 2003
  

       Hehe, no, I enjoyed the first analogy the best [toejam].
RoboBust, Jun 02 2003
  

       there is a position of standing and squating which allows for a through wiping and takes the toilet out of the way, good exercise too
love2everyone, Jun 02 2003
  

       Squat toilets. Stool impacts on dry porcelain. No splash. Healtheir evacuation stance, too. Crazy Japanese not so crazy, it seems.
my face your, Jun 02 2003
  

       <hands over eyes> has this gone away yet ? </hands over eyes>
po, Jun 02 2003
  

       We have solved this problem in Germany: Most toilets have a shelf onto which the "sausage" drops. It is then flushed off the shelf in the end. Disadvantage: The water in the bowl stops the smell (sometimes), with the shelf you get the full aroma. Advantage: You get a good look at colour, composition and consistency (If you wish).
Onestone, Jun 18 2003
  

       "sausage" :)
No folks, I did not mean to endorse *standing*, but there is no need to actually be seated on the toilet and plunging your hand into the netherworld when you can be squatting just above the toilet and attain full visibility. (Yes, fine breakfast reading!)
phundug, Jun 18 2003
  

       Don't look, [po]!
snarfyguy, Jun 18 2003
  
      
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