Spontaneous Cat Napping

Both me mum and me supermodel fiancé have poorly defined uvulas and particularly soft palates.

This odds-defying circumstance oft lends itself to some of the most horrendous and god awful snoring ever before experienced here in Stratford on Avon, my home town.

Thank goodness our walls are 17th Century. They are hand-hewn from the ancient old–growth forests, and are virtually sound proof. Were it not for these impenetrable barricade-like walls, the thunderous snoring would most assuredly send me bum over noggin, and drive the poor blokes who live next door completely cricket bats.

Mum and Twiggy both recently purchased Sleep Apnea Masks and the Marks and Spencer on High Street, and there has been remarkable improvement. They sleep much more quietly and soundly, thank you, and are more rested and less irritable.

Unfortunately, these rather cumbersome devices are most always kept in the bedroom, and do not lend themselves well to spontaneous cat-napping, as mum is so wont to do in her favorite Baca lounger in front of the savalas.

And the Twigster, after a hearty serving of bangers and mash, likes to take a nappy on the chesterfield in the study, with a fag and some lollies.

Why not then, methinks, have that noisy apnea mask motor located up in the attic? With hoses extending all over the house?

That way……

Whenever, or wherever you are knackered, you could simply lie down, grab the nearest hose, and give it a go…