h a l f b a k e r yTempus fudge-it.
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I just know blissie is with me on this and needs work.
Whopping great you know what sitting on backroom wall giving me the evil eye
and flexing it's 68 whatever knee joints. Disposed of out of robin's snack bar,
kitchen window.
Idea. Soon to be patented. Spider night time mouth guard.
No more spiders
having a comfortable rest in my mouth. You know it makes sense.
Spider moustache
http://somethingscr...Jumper.FullFace.jpg
[MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 01 2017]
[link]
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But what if said malevolent arachnid has set its beady eyes on
one of your other facial orifices ... ? |
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Can we by any chance interest you in one of our BorgCo whole-
body anti-spider suits ? |
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product: office supplies: eraser |
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Since I can't sleep at work I'd like to try the traveler's
version |
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The obvious solution is to grow a luxuriant moustache. Spiders themselves do this <link>, so there must be something in it. |
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If you sleep with a bright green led in your mouth, the
spiders won't venture beyond the threshold of your teeth. A
small battery will power it, and the cable will prevent you
from accidentally swallowing it as you sleep. |
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You got any independent proof of that, [xen] ? |
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Easy fix: Move to Australia where the spiders are too big to fit
in your mouth (No, I haven't tried). |
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Just hire Ant-Man to dispatch of them. |
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So sorry po, but I am no longer a spider hater. I have
recently joined their ranks. They give me lots of bugs to
eat, they clean my toenails while I sleep, and they braid my
eyelashes for me. |
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The curious can now reach me at Sunnyside Retirement
Village, home for the scattered, scared, and slightly
deranged. Wanna come visit? |
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If so, you know where to write. buahahahahahahahaha |
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//You got any independent proof of that?// I have never yet swallowed a spider, whilst most people ingest up to 12 of our furry friends (or is that fiends) per year. |
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What is required is objective evidence. Belief is irrelevant. Freedom is irrelevant, self-determination is irrelevant. You will be assimilated. You must comply. Resistance is futile. |
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I thought this was going to be a mouthguard with mandible extensions for high-impact sports. You know - to intimidate the opposition. |
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Visiting my sister-in-law in Monmouthshire at the weekend,
it was borne in upon me that arachnophobes would not do
well in that particular domicile. However, apparently the
dogs eat them. There was even a spider next to the
apparent corpse of her former mate in the bathroom, or
possibly her own former exoskeleton. To me it was simply a
good sign of biodiversity. I recognise that elsewhere on the
planet it would be instinctive wisdom to fear them, like cats
and cucumbers. [+]. |
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Why, admins, don't we have a like button for annos? Please. |
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Ha [19] I spent ages getting a spider out of the bathroom windows
with a wet mop. It wouldn't cooperate, realised after that it was its
discarded exoskeleton. duh. |
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// It wouldn't cooperate // |
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Riiggght ... so if you were attacked by a gigantic creature with
50,000 times your mass, armed with an enormous water-soaked
mass of fibres on a massive pole, you'd think "Oh, not to worry, I
think I'll just play along and see what happens ... after all, what
could possibly go wrong ... ?" |
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Maybe you should get a mainly insectivorous pet who would
get on with cats. A hedgehog? |
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