h a l f b a k e r yBirth of a Notion.
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Often, when there is a task a person doesn't want to do, the emergence of a new, harder task suddenly makes the first one seem more appealing, and this now less important task is the one that receives the effort.
If scientists of the world could agree to secretly make up and announce a new major threat,
much worse than global warming (e.g. "Remnants of a ancient supernova are headed towards Earth and will bombard us with deadly radiation within 25 years - we must build shelters immediately"), then this will give our world's people a new thing to procrastinate on and Global Warming will receive more attention.
Try any of these...
http://www.exitmundi.nl/exitmundi.htm
There's plenty to worry about already. [theleopard, Sep 17 2007]
The real threat...
http://www.odt.org/...e%20only%201200.jpg
[theleopard, Sep 18 2007]
WO?
http://www.usps.com...kups/abbr_state.txt
which one were you thinking of, [the_leaper]? [k_sra, Sep 18 2007]
Don't ask!
http://www.youtube....watch?v=sE76LQwT6qA
[nuclear hobo, Sep 19 2007]
Gambia
http://go.hrw.com/a...norm_map/gambia.gif
now almost fully worm shaped [xenzag, Sep 19 2007]
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I thought that was Islam? |
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"But should I get the pink shelter or the white one? Ach, too many choices! I'm going green!" + |
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That's what global warming already is. The real problem is still killer bees. |
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The globe is warming? Who's-a-jig-a-what? |
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George Bush, and doing nothing about it. |
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//Something Worse Than Global Warming// |
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Why would anyone concern themselves with global warming if they believe the world is going to end in 25 years' time? |
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Islam is just another religion, that anno was uncalled for, I mean come on. |
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I think he was commenting on the media's hysterical portrayal of Islam in recent years. Not that Islam is actually the new doom of the World. |
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yeah, I assumed he meant Bush's war on terra. |
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Ah, I see, we'll give him the benefit of the doubt. |
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See, you've all forgotten about global warming already. Nice one, [DrCurry]! |
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"war on terra": n. War against land, often resulting in warmer globes before catastrophic transitions into nuclear winter. Not to be confused with the "war on terror": war against scary things. |
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I'll tell you what you want to worry about. I saw it
in a dream. |
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One day a small fight will break out in a library in
James Town, WY, USA between a disgruntled map-
maker and the fellow to whom he was trying to
explain the natural formation of fjords. Suddenly,
before anyone can address the problem, the
townsfolk are rioting in the streets increasingly
frustrated with inaccurate cartography and
mercator projections on CNN. "Why these absurd
angles?" they scream like banshees as they burn
the local library's entire collection of maps. "We
don't want your stupid-shaped countries in our
maps any more!" they chant. |
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The hysteria spreads, first to Colarado and Utah,
where right-anglites emerge as a powerful
underground force - like a perfectly rectangular
sleeper cell - and then further still into New
Mexico. Soon Kansas is in uproar as 200,000 Kansas
City dwellers descend upon the Missouri river and
begin diverting it with girders ripped from their
own homes. The US government, unwilling to
quell the uprise, orders Missouri to relinquish the
land that falls within Kansas's new 90° river.
Missouri agrees, Kansas rejoices, Nebraska
implodes. |
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A small handful of Egyptian tourists caught in the
violence on their way through the US return home
glad to be away from the violence. They expound
the events to their friends and family but are
mortified to hear their reactions and apparent
approval. Within minutes Egypt, Sudan, Chad and
Libya have formed a coalition group to invade
those countries around them that do not support
the abolition of squiggly maps, and subsequently
new borders are set up. |
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As Nebraskan refugees flood into North Africa a
strong bond forms between the central US states
and their African counterparts and soon an
alliance is born. The US is separated right down
the centre, and subsequently conquered from the
inside out by superior weaponry and engineering
as Squaredom annexes the country state by state;
the US is overwhelmed by surprisingly efficient
square-wheeled tanks and super-hard rectangle
bullets. |
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Over time the squariness of coastlines becomes
the greatest setback for Squaredom, but the
deserts in Africa soon become a valuable asset as
sand and rocks are exported to fill in the gaps.
The conflicts, the border realignment and the
coastal adjustments continue across the globe. |
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A long and destructive war is waged against
Norway. |
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Heed my words fellow 'bakers, forget all this
mumbo jumbo about the green house effect,
carbon emissions and the ozone layer. Unless you
want this planet to look like the Borg I suggest
you start campaigning against Global Wyoming. |
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[the_leopard], i failed to read your story because i was arrested at the outset by the reference to James Town, WO, USA. please see my [link] above and let me know exactly what state you may have been referring to so that i may continue to read your lovely story. |
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My apologies. Amended, but it's not a lovely story. It's DOOMSDAY!! |
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yes, but how can i know that if it's set in the fictional state of Worbleblott? |
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You asked for it - here it is. A student who gets arrested and tasered simply because he has the audacity to ask questions. [link] |
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World War III? Cold War II? |
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How about a new Crusades? Oh! ... Oh God. |
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I had a similar dream [theleapord] only
all the countries in the world were
becoming worm shaped, after a tectonic
virus that orginates in Gambia. |
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If you look at a map of Gambia (see
link) you can see how it started off near
the coast as a regular angled sort of
place, but as Global Worming took hold,
the whole country broke into Senegal. |
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Now is the time to look at the outline of
your country.... are you next? |
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[daseva] I could have explained the joke myself but I prefer to keep them subtle. |
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[xenzag], did your dream have a weird naked Indian guy in it? |
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Yes! I have to ask, don't you think it's always a trifle unnecessary to see the crack in the indian's bottom? |
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They need to put an apache over those
cracks. (groans but refuses to retract) |
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You'd think they'd be able to Sioux a pair of trousers together... |
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I think toxic pollution of the ocean and overfishing is a more serious threat, the oceans can only only handle so much before the entire ecosystem collapses, and considering that about half the worlds oxygen is produced by the mircoscopic plants in the ocean, I'd say that this is a pretty serious threat. But do we hear anything about this compared to global warming? |
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"The LHC will destroy the universe" ? |
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