Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Soixante Neuf Snorkel

 Nostril tube for undercover cunnilinguists and fellatarians
  (+3)
(+3) 		  [vote for,
against]

No more gasping for O2 during extended, oral exercises. The subtle, two-foot snorkel, model 69, fits snugly over the nose and sports a comfy headband.

Included are the fragrance flap for optional added aroma stimulus and the ear bud to pick up any external exclamations.

Cold clime surveys have continually rated our snorkel as most effective and attractive aspiration aid, among all air assistance articles analyzed.

—FarmerJohn, Mar 01 2003

Soixante Neuf Snorkel http://www.cedarpar...images/soixante.htm
Illustration. Microphone/amplifier pack not shown. [Cedar Park, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 17 2005]

The REAL Snorkel http://www.pussysnorkel.com/
Wow. Someone actually did make this. [Overpanic, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       "Subtle, two-foot?"
—bristolz, Mar 01 2003
   

       It's not the size that matters...
—FarmerJohn, Mar 01 2003
   

       Okay. Please illustrate. No, don't.
—bristolz, Mar 01 2003
   

       Dare I ask why there’s a hearing device?
—Shz, Mar 01 2003
   

       mirrors - are reliable indicators of a person succumbing to suffocation.
—po, Mar 01 2003
   

       //Dare I ask why there's a hearing device?//
Thunder-thighs muzzle output of linguistic squeals of delight from recipient of said cunnilinguistic explorations.
—thumbwax, Mar 01 2003
   

       (falls out of chair)
—snarfyguy, Mar 01 2003
   

       <picks [snarfy] up off floor and whispers in his ear> please would you ask if these things come in pairs. thanks mate.
—po, Mar 01 2003
   

       [po] pairs?
—senatorjam, Mar 01 2003
   

       so its not a duet in synchronised swimming then?
—po, Mar 01 2003
   

       That's why I alliterated //as most effective and attractive aspiration aid, among all air assistance articles analyzed.//
—FarmerJohn, Mar 02 2003
   

       You need market testers?
—waugsqueke, Mar 02 2003
   

       What! still no illustration? is it that the good farmer is doing market research prior to bringing this product to the market?
—senatorjam, Jun 03 2003
   

       Were the 10 a's accidental? Either way you get a plus for a genuinely useful product.
—Worldgineer, Jun 03 2003
   

       All things included, FarmerJohn is indeed a cunning linguist.
—Cedar Park, Jun 03 2003
   

       We were trying to keep it secret from you. Oh well...
—Cedar Park, Jun 03 2003
   

       This is one of the best ideas I've seen in years. Love it. +
—saker, Jun 04 2003
   

       Wow, I just noticed the fine illustration. Thanks Cedar.
—FarmerJohn, Jul 02 2003
   

       How did I miss this idea?
—silverstormer, Jul 02 2003
   

       //[po] pairs?//   

       Surely only one of a hetrosexual pair would need one... oooh. I see.... how insensitive of me. I totally respect your lifestyle, [po].   

       Can I watch?
—FloridaManatee, Jul 02 2003
   

       look, I don't know about this stuff but I always visualised 69 as involving 2 participants, am I wrong AGAIN?
—po, Jul 02 2003
   

       Many non-human mammals -- horses, for example -- can breathe while drinking (the gullet is sealable from the airway). Score another one for horses. Damn horses...
—n-pearson, Jul 02 2003
   

       Po: 2 participants, yes. But in general, only one has trouble breathing through an obstructed nasal passage. There are, of course, exceptions...
—Overpanic, Jul 02 2003
   

       nasal passage? ewww.
—po, Jul 02 2003
   

       as Steven Tyler says: You ain't seen nothin' Till you're down on the croissant
—hob, Jul 02 2003
   

       I just came across something in Maxim magazine that states that this produce is quite baked...and none of us had any idea!! (see link) [Farmerjohn], you've been robbed.
—Overpanic, Oct 25 2003
   

       I don't know about all of you, but the nose comes in pretty frequent contact with said woman.   

       Waterproof Velour, perhaps?
—HypnoLobster, Oct 17 2005
   

       Boxer dogs need this. Or bull dogs? Which ever the dog is that can’t breathe well. .being born with a cunnilingus face
—DDRopDeadly, Nov 23 2017
   
      
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