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There are all these security systems out, but a lot of them are pretty damn dumb and just not cool. I say we make a defense system with a soda dispenser. You know, like the kind that they have in restaurants. Where you buy the cup, and then you can fill it up with the sodas from the dispenser. Here's
how it works:
Have a regular soda dispenser, that way you can have soda a lot. Have one of the places where you normally put a soda, have a gun in it. When you push the button for that soda the gun comes out and it dials the number for 911, with a message pre-recorded by you for the dispatcher to get.. Also, you can make sure kids don't get it by making it a really disgusting kind of soda like Hawaiin punch. That's not even a soda so why would kids want to get it. Here's some play-by-play action.
1. The robber or whoever comes into the house.
2. You become aware of the situation.
3. You creep downstairs to your soda dispenser.
4. The robber is taking all of your stuff, he is preoccupied.
5. You push the Hawaiin Punch button.
6. Out comes the gun and the machine automatically dials 911 leaving the message that you recorded when you first bought the soda sipenser defense mechanism. It could go something like this. "There is an emergency at 78 Oak Street, please get there as quickly as possible."
7. You catch the robber red handed and tell him to freeze till the police get there.
8. They cuff him and arrest him and you get on with your life, secured by the Soda Dispenser Defense Mechanism or SDDM for short.
Now look what you've started...
SDI_3a_20Sodapop_20Defense_20Initiative [normzone, Apr 21 2006]
[link]
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Your title really should be more descriptive. 'defense' doesn't tell enough about the idea, and therefore won't be very well searchable. |
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Instead of a gun, a big, spring loaded boxing glove. Be sure to duck. (Sorry, couldn't ignore the bad 'Hawaiian punch' pun opportunity). |
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Great Idea! No. Wait. Sorry. |
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What if the robber tries to rob your house while you're out, and he happens to enjoy Hawaiian Punch, you've just given him a weapon. |
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Could it be that's how
//7. You catch the robber red handed and tell him to freeze till the police get there.// |
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I want something that will defend my can of soda against poachers at the office. This is not it ... |
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So when your 10 year old has his/her friends over and they want some Hawaiin Punch... |
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Why not, instead of having to sneak unnoticed to a soda machine, instead keep the gun in the drawer at your house, next to a cellphone? |
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Disappointed. I was hoping for a Reagan-esque Star Wars defense system of orbiting soda machines, hurtling hundreds of cans of shook-up soda pop at unsuspecting targets of opportunity on command. |
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I will now go and not post that idea. |
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Why not? It's better than this one. |
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But you may be judged as an accomplice before the fact. If nothing else, perhaps you can say a kind word in my defense at the war crimes tribunal. |
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It's done. May god have mercy on my soul. |
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