h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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They seem essential to me. I'm looking forward to
the video of you fitting them to the first herd. |
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Yes - have you heard of them? |
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It would be more effective to fit the elephants with tracks. There is Prior Art ... |
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For some reason this sounded like it could have been one of
my ideas, and I thought I was losing my mind and didn't
remember posting it. Good Job [not_morrison_rm], we should
colaborate sometime. hahahaha |
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Hmm....blissmiss, after a trawl I did find a elephant shoe mention, lacking the snow bit though - |
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"Elephant shoes"?
— mcscotland, Apr 10 2002>" and that seems to be that.. |
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//It would be more effective to fit the elephants with tracks. |
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Tried that, but the elephants kept squashing the caterpillars...so it's A) make the elephants lighter or B) use that Ferengi Enlargo-Ray to get bigger caterpillars. |
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So, a set of woolly mammoth slippers. |
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What if the secretly love snow and can't wait for the next ice age? [link] |
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I wonder if their ears are burning right now. |
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They haven't paid for the waterskis yet. |
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Hang on - Hannibal presumably solved this problem some
years ago, no? |
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Yes, he got Face, B.A. and Murdock to herd them up the rear ramp of a C-130, then dropped them by parachute. |
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I can't help thinking there's a structural problem; that pachyderms - given their weight - couldn't splay their legs out far enough, safely to snowshoe. |
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Wanna bet ? The AT-AT Imperial Walkers in TESB are modelled on elephant locomotion and gait. There was a programme about it on The Discoverery Channel, so it must be true. |
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So you're suggesting growing elephants by hydroponics ? |
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I have an image in my head now. |
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Picture this : the snowy wastes of siberia, post global
warming,
now a temperate grassland. |
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The camera pans out further : a herd of bewildered
elephants stands around wondering why they're wearing
snowshoes. |
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& not a flake of the stuff in sight. |
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The camera pans out further : Then zooms in on a small
figure in the distance : |
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It's [not_morrison_rm] nailing a new set of snowshoes to the
feet of a newborn calf as he shouts "you'll thank me when
the snow comes back!" |
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// I have an image in my head now... It's [not_morrison_rm] nailing a new set of snowshoes to the feet of a newborn calf // |
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[Skewed], you're channelling the spirit of Spike Milligan, stop it ! |
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Why? did you want it back? |
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(Wearily realises that no true genius is
recognised in his/her lifetime, so it's good I'm
not a genius) |
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Archimedes. Shakespear. Newton. Brunel. Einstein. Feynmann. |
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How much dead keratin is on the hoof of a new born calf? They are up quick. |
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An elephant calf? they don't have any (accept the toes, which
are on top like ours not underneath). |
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Elephants don't have
'hooves' like a horse or a cow they have pads of soft tissue. |
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Elephants are highly social creatures (more so than humans, as elephants very rarely kill their own kind) and all the females in a herd are normally close relatives. This means that not only is the calf protected by its mother, but also by a group of concerned aunts. Anyone wanting to nail things to a baby elephant will have an extremely short life expectancy. |
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<Smiles, nods, makes encouraging gestures, proffers hammer and nails to [n_m_rm], prepares to run/> |
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//Elephants are higly social creatures (more so than humans,
as elephants very rarely kill their own kind)// |
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There is an argument to be made that this is evidence of the
reverse & simply an expression of our more highly developed
social nature. |
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No, I think he meant "higly". Have you ever seen an elephant
try to built something? It comes out all higly pigly. |
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// There is an argument to be made // |
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... and no doubt you're quite prepared to slaughter anyone who disagrees, entirely for their own good of course ... ? |
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Well.. only if all other arguments fail, got another train I can
burrow? |
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Sure. We'll load it with chemical weapons and nuclear waste, and tack on a couple of coaches for the friends and relatives of the victims of your previous attempt at being a railway switchman. |
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C'mon, show everyone your Many-Armed Form ... |
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Surely my aspect as Ganesha would be more appropriate here,
we can rationalise it as removing obstacles to new
beginnings? |
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But really I just want to wear the elephant head. |
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Well, if the head fits ... |
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I could counter that keratin is structurally in skin but no, credit where credit is due, my mind was totally somewhere else. |
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But now I am imagining a spray-painted punk calf with pads and ears pierced, named Ganesha |
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