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Sniper Perch for Modern Office Workspaces

 So you wanna be a rock superstar, live large, with five cars?
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In today's workplace, it is common for a whole slew of workers to be laid off in one sweep of a company's hand. When this happens, the chance for a worker to "lose it" increases exponentially. This compunded withthe fact that internet companies are going down faster than Hugh Grant on an LA back street, I think that a sniper perch for my, or anyone else but those being fired, desk is appropriate.

Vincenzo's "First Strike" sniper perch easily mounts to the monitor of your standard terminal in today's internet officespace. It has plenty of room for extra bullets, since lots of people will be laid off. It also has 360 degree turret rotation, becuase those pink-slip psychos will be coming from all directions. Also, take action now and receive free one "Management Clearout Defensive Smoke Grenade." Perfect for when a new CEO "clears house" of midde and upper level management. We all know that although managers are not the front line warriors your general officespace workers are, they are both cunning and loose lipped. The MCDSG will buy you the extra time you need to download funny videos while taking aim on your new sniper perch.

And you can sell videos and books below cost through the internet terminal attached underneath the M-1 rifle housing.

—vincenzo, Jun 28 2000

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       I believe your idea to be full of holes. The sniper perch, yes I can see that. But what is this internet thing you keep refering to? I fthere really was one of those in existence companies would never make a profit and go out of business. Ha! What a moron, companies would no longer be able to workers and would run out of funding and shut down! Not to mention the possibility of dirty old men doing something I call "chatting" with little girls in what i call "chat r
—spalding, Jun 28 2000
   

       It's a confirmed statistic that when workers do not have the internet as a distraction, they can achieve 80 bullets-per-minute (BPM), but when they are trying to browse the internet and catch up on slashdot news stuff, their productivity drops 72%. It's also confirmed that 68% of all statistics are made up.
—lockle, Aug 15 2000
   

       But 98% of people know that.
—Gimp, Feb 02 2001
   
      
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