Smoke Yo' Ass

If you've ever been to see Los Momias in Guanajuato, Mexico, you have seen hundreds of humans preserved by drying. Exhumed for lack of cemetery plot rent, they were stood up like semi-transparent dog chews in dry chalk tunnels like catacombs where they are totally preserved. Decorative, delicate and spooky, but still, they would not be appropriate for our current social milieu. But if Bubba wants to be immortalized like his favorite brisket, we can do that. If Professor Hassenfelder wants to forever sit atop the flagpole at Harvard smelling like the favorite Sobranies, we can do that (With optional weatherproofing). Personally, I have specified a light Sativa smoke while seated at my desk in my favorite chair but others may like more of a Maillard-reaction tan to go with their tropical motif. Degrees of doneness can be specified as well, and of course, of fragrance. I'm opting for the English Leather club scent. Fruity flavors also available. The recently deceased are lovingly posed and styled in our one-of-a-kind Oklahoma Joe Ultra-Mega Smoker and 4 days later are cured, appointed, and presented to their loving family for pubic or private display. Cholesterol and BHA free! New and Improved! Be the First!