h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Technology A = an aeroplane. Technology B = smart bombs.
A+B= the Smart Bomb Airline.
Bob looked up from his book. Ducking down to look out of the window, he could see the lights of his home town off in the distance as his plane neared the end of its journey. He shut his book, and made eye contact
with the stewardess who was coming down the aisle towards him.
"Mr Croker? We'll be initiating your departure in just a minute. Can I check your seatbelt... yes, that's fine. You've flown with us before, I believe? Great. You're going home, that's right? And the address we've got is..."
"Exactly right." He told her.
She flashed a quick smile, and reaching over she began zipping him into his escape capsule. The LED readout began a final countdown.
3,2,1...
With a sickening lurch, the warmth and security of the cabin disappeared as he smoothly fell through the bottom of the plane. His little capsule played some light music which was pretty much lost in the roar of the air past his capsule. In the back of his seat, he knew, the capsule's simple brain (this was a cheap model, so the brain really was a cheap PDA - Bob couldn't see this, but the designers hadn't even bothered removing the PDA's outer case, just plugged it into a GPS unit and screwed the whole thing into the back of the chair) used a tiny set of fins and a freewheeling rotor to send the capsule arrowing neatly towards Bob's own back garden.
Although it was dark, Bob had a pretty good idea of how the whole thing worked - he'd sat through the company's promo videos many times. Closer to the ground, he could feel the two contra-rotating rotors finally starting to bite the air and properly slow him down. They were using up the battery energy they'd stored up earlier while they were rotating freely, concentrating it into a final burst that set him down gently onto the grass.
The 'fasten seatbelts' light went off; Bob climbed out of the capsule, strolled over and tapped on the patio door. Tomorrow morning, the airline people would send round a van to pick up the capsule and it would be slotted neatly back into a plane. For now, Bob just regretted that he hadn't put a bigger door round the back. Still, that was the delivery men's problem. Smiling, he stepped into the house.
Slim Pickens
http://www.mabuse.c...31404_soldado5.jpeg
[normzone, Apr 14 2005]
[link]
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Luggage? Bombed too, I assume... |
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Perks? I'm thinking, speed and safety. Safety bieng the ability to jump plane if it's ever hijacked or engine faliure. |
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But that air will be cold and fast, man, too cold and fast. these buggers have to be outfitted with some heavy duty sheilding, and, for the sake of clausterphobia and bathroom breaks while in flight, the sheilding would have to be retractible. |
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I bun it, cause I'd use it if it existed. |
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Given the reliability of such technologies, expect to punch a hole in the neighbors roof periodically if you're a frequent flier [+]. |
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Weren't helicopters going to do this, at least to rooftops? |
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She flashed a quick smile, and reaching over she began zipping him into his escape capsule. |
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The man in the seat just ahead of him pulled out a cellphone, and commenced button pushing. |
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The young boy in the seat just behind him, keyed in a cheat code on his Game Boy. |
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A shrill alarm sounded in the cabin. Before the stewardess could finish zipping the escape capsule closed, it was ejected with a sickening lurch. The warmth and security of the cabin disappeared as he fell through the bottom of the plane. His little capsule played some light music which was pretty much lost in the roar of the air past his capsule. |
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In the back of his seat, the capsule's simple brain (this was a cheap model, so the brain really was a cheap PDA - Bob couldn't see this, but the designers hadn't even bothered removing the PDA's outer case, just plugged it into a GPS unit and screwed the whole thing into the back of the chair) was torn violently from it's mounts. A tiny set of fins and a freewheeling rotor fluttered aimlessly with no commands to guide them. |
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...In the absence of instructions from the PDA, the automatic height-and-velocity sensors on the emergency parachute pack detected that something was wrong and deployed a vast silk canopy. The capsule came gently to earth. Now the only problem was that Bob was some 100 miles off-course, and consequently the wrong side of the English Channel. |
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You have reached the 1.5 croissant marker. |
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[+] NYC and other urban settings would be very interesting, with a steady rain of returning travellers. |
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Can you imagine the weather forecasts? |
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Now this is the kind of idea that I come the halfbakery for! |
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The darkness was absolute. Clawing his way out of the shredded capsule, the deafening drumming noise that filled the night slowly became revealed itself as Bob's heartbeat. |
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Wilderness. Or at least trees, water, and no lights. |
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The emergency locator beacon repeated it's message over and over again. It was effectively talking to itself, since the antenna had been destroyed in it's passage through the treeline. |
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Seems scary. Not many people would sign up. I'd say the potenital passenger list is slim pickens. |
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What happened next, [norm]? I'm hoping for a surprise appearance from lost members of the French Resistance who think the war is still on. Next episode please! |
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slim pickens... like it. Y'all been flying nukuler airways! |
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"Sorry to come through your roof like that, my smart lander must have gone adrift. |
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What? Don't tell me I've landed on yet another Al-Jazeera office! What an incredible coincidence..." |
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Searching for anything that might produce light, our traveller remembers the cell phone in his pocket. Using it's bright color display for illumination, he begins his journey through the woods to find help. |
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The next capsule from the plane sensed the light of his cell phone and homed in on it, delivering into his life at high velocity the annoying kid with the Game Boy. |
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Fortunately, the capsule homed in on the reflection of the cellphone in a small pond. With a treetop-high splash, the second capsule plunged into the mud at the bottom of the pond. |
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Unfortunately, this second capsule contained his luggage, which coincidentally was filled with survival equipment that he had brought for the outdoor gear retailers conference he was traveling from. |
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Bob stripped to his fashion-handicapped orthopedic-white underwear, and waded through the leech-infested cattails into the deeper water, where the bubbles from the capsule marked it's location. |
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As he backed out of the water, dragging the capsule, the light from his cell phone reflected off his wet, white underwear. |
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Looking around and not finding his clothes, he sets his muddy bag down on a rock to look for something to change into. It's then that he notices the low rumbling. |
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The source of the growl now identified, "How did I wind up in Florida?", he asks no one in particular as the cellphone light reflects in the two menacing green eyes of the rock as it swallows the muddy bag. |
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...stunned, he is raised into the air, and given a monstor wedgie by the Controversial Trash Man! |
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[sophocles]'s anno has me in tears. [+] just for that. |
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This is very entertaining. |
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I am mortified. I just watched 'The Incredibles'. In it, Mr Incredible uses something suspiciously similar to this. |
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Oh well. I thought of it _second_. |
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This would make request stops possible as well. |
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Want to get to Kiribati? Get on a flight from LA to Sydney and they'll drop you off half way. |
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It doesn't help you get back, of course! [+] |
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