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Slimming Toilet Paper

impregnated weightloss stimulating factors
  (+2)
(+2)
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Impregnated toilet paper is not new. TP impregnated with guarana, caffein, bitter orange peel, green tea extract and Aloe Vera, is. Using this TP results in small and regular doses as the substances in the TP are absorbed through the skin. The skin is thinner and righly veined in the areas where TP is regularly used.

Note that using this TP to clean the bathroom mirror (for example) may leave smudges instead.

The user may wish to get a second, regular roll of TP, to use before sleeping and on nightly outings to the bathroom. This because of the stimulating effect of the substances. The user may want to use some more TP in the morning, after a rough night. I suggest coloring the Slimming TP a distinctive color, such as bright green, to discriminate from any other, regular, TP the users has.

Note that leaving TP in contact with the skin would not be a good idea. The level of impregnation would be tuned to brief contact and might give of too high a dose. So don't let your kid play mummy with this TP.

Be aware that some of the substances are addictive. I see no problem, since a lot of people go to the toilet several times a day anyway!

Buis, Apr 16 2005

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       You skinny assholes make me sick.
AfroAssault, Apr 16 2005
  

       Caffeine?! Euw.   

       Altogether, rather a lot of caveats :-)   

       Yours sincerely, a skinny asshole.
moomintroll, Apr 16 2005
  

       No thanks, I don't want your skinny asshole.
AfroAssault, Apr 16 2005
  

       could I mummify myself in this wondrous stuff every night before sleep?
po, Apr 16 2005
  

       A slim, slimming TP thong should do.
FarmerJohn, Apr 16 2005
  

       Is righly veined a bad thing?   
      
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