h a l f b a k e r yIdea vs. Ego
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Dog tails on cars have been around since forever, but they only wag or don't wag. Not any more.
Up= Aggressive stance
Neutral= Neither dominant or submissive
Down= Submissive
Up Wagging= Dominant but happy
Neutral Wagging= Just happily driving along
Down Wagging= An ugly display of
weakness
Some people drive their cars aggressively as a display of
their dominance. Little tricks like cutting people off,
riding up on their bumper etc. The only way to
communicate with these people is with a horn since
discharging of firearms on the freeway can lead to hefty
penalties.
Enter the six mode car tail. A motorized furry tail that connects to
your rear bumper that's controlled from a switch on the
dashboard. There are so many obvious uses for such a
device that it scarcely needs examples but here's one.
When some self perceived alpha male rides up on your
rear,
you flip your tail to "Up Wagging". This shows that you do
not accept his dominance but are still not letting his
thuggish driving ruin your day. If you're down for a fight,
flip it simply to "Up". If you don't care, leave it in
"Neutral"
or "Neutral Wagging". About the only time I'd use "Down"
or
"Down Wagging" is to be sarcastic but some people might
find the need to tell the world they're weak and
submissive. I wouldn't suggest using this position while
driving in LA.
Obnoxious jerks would leave it in the "Up" (not wagging)
position so
we'd
all know who they are while most of us would probably
leave it in "Neutral" "Neutral Wagging" or "Up Wagging".
Driving down the freeway you'd feel like you were
running
with a pack of wild dogs.
Peacock_20Tails_20for_20Cars
[hippo, Oct 19 2012]
whale_20tail_20spoiler
[hippo, Oct 19 2012]
Like this?
http://www.seihin-w...2004/04/22_1443.php
The aftermarket version [Alterother, Oct 19 2012]
Or this...
http://archive.card...preview/toyota-pod/
The concept car version [Alterother, Oct 19 2012]
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[+] I don't know which is worse: that you spent all that time working something silly out in such detail, or that I spent the time to read it and agree that it's a good idea. |
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Bit wordy I guess. I wrote it right before going to
sleep and I think the clicking of the keys sort of
made me zone out. |
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I do like the idea of seeing the general mood of
the
road though. I picture a mixture of neutral, up and
down for a commute for instance, while a road full
of people going to a concert or sporting event
would
all have their tails in "Wag" mode. |
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I wonder if I could make money just selling a solar
powered wagging tail where you could set the
position once and forget about it. They'd wag
faster on sunny days which would be kind of
appropriate I guess. |
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It needs a position for people who are using their cell
phone. Perhaps dragging limply on the ground. |
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I posted a "tails for cars" idea several years ago. It was mfd and I've forgotten why. |
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Was it baked maybe? I'm not seeing anything on the web about car tails. That's the only reason I can see for it to be MFD. |
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Hate to take this down until there's something showing this was done before. If you like I'll put your name on it to defer the glory to you. Such as it is. |
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If you'd like to put a name on it, start with names like
Toyota, Sony, and Seihin World Automotive. <links> |
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Are we sure that's supposed to be a tail? |
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Clearly baked, down it goes. I'll leave it up long enough for everybody to see why it's coming down, say their final words etc. |
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Oh, leave it up. As an anti-deletion 'baker, I'd hate to be
the cause of deletion. Also, those real-world products are
too unbelievably silly to not be brought under our scrutiny. |
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On second thought, these tails have only 2 modes. Wagging and not wagging. |
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With the audience's permission I'm going to leave this up as a multi position car tail, an improvement over old fashioned car tails that only wag. |
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// these tails have only 2 modes. Wagging and not
wagging. // |
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And, for shame, this I knew prior to posting the links. I
have sullied your genius in my haste to display my superior
knowledge of existant automobile tails. For shame. |
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The cutting edge science of automotive-canine trait convergence is a fast paced thrill ride. Nobody can be expected to know everything as we march boldly into the future. |
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The important thing is that progress marches on. |
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EDIT: I witnessed some particularly clueless driving this morning - a series of five lane changes without one turn signal, culminating in crossing a simulated barrier to get into the carpool lane. |
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This device should have a periodic maintenance requirement. If you don't reset it every few minutes, it should indicate that you're not paying attention and you don't really care. Perhaps an especially spastic version of Neutral or Neutral Wagging. Kind of a Golden Retriver / Pomeranian setting. |
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Add a timer function? Good idea, because what if you change your mood and forget that you left the tail on? People see you pounding the dash and screaming at the radio, cellphone or God with a wagging tail on the back of your car they might get confused. |
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Clearly, the car should be programmed to learn your driving habits over a few hundred miles. You set the tail at first and it will learn how you drive when you are happy vs how you drive when angry then after calibration it wags automatically. |
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There's a couple of easy attachments you could hook up before getting into the a.i. stuff. Long blast on the car horn makes the tail stand up, two short toots causes it to wag. |
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I'm thinking you could also have the anatomically correct model for when flipping the tail up to express your differences just doesn't say enough. |
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[DIYMatt], check out the link about the Toyota Pod.
Supposedly, it did exactly what you're describing. |
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//Long blast on the car horn makes the tail stand up, two short toots causes it to wag// Shirley you would have a 'horn' that growls or woofs? |
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Those are perfectly authentic canine sounds; my dogs emit
long blasts and short toots all day long. |
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