h a l f b a k e r yAmbivalent? Are you sure?
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From the digital display on this vending machine, select the characteristics of your desired tie: color, pattern, texture, shape, and length. Pay with change or credit card. Peer through the glass front of the machine and watch as a length of material is unrolled to your desired length and printed
with your chosen pattern (little croissants and fishbones, eh?). A heated cutter then shapes your tie, searing the edges so as to prevent loose strings. Your tie is then pressed through a roller and imprinted with your chosen texture before it finally drops through a chute into the pick-up receptacle. If the machine should jam, please call the number on the side of the machine to request a refund. Otherwise, enjoy your formal occasion! Treat the tie gently and you may be able to get several wears out of it. Do not wash the tie!
See number 11 on this page...
http://www.oddee.com/item_96684.aspx
[hippo, Jun 04 2010]
Custom ties, made for you
http://www.drakes-l...om/bespoke-ties.php
not sure if you can watch though. [pocmloc, Jun 04 2010]
Infini-tie
largely redundant, apart from the vending machine part. [xenzag, Jun 04 2010]
You can wear it with this...
Buttinfront_20Fashions
[normzone, Jun 05 2010]
[link]
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[hippo], fantastic. That indeed is the grandfather of this idea. I am adding a subtitle to highlight the difference. |
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//A heated cutter then shapes your tie, searing the edges so as to prevent loose strings// Unfortunately, silk does not melt. And you would not want a tie made of anything else... would you? |
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I hope I can get an extra wide polka dot clown tie to go with my
red wig, suspenders and size 20 double D shoes. Clown-
accessible is mandated by law, since being a clown is considered
a disability. |
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//imprinted// I was about to bun this, but no, not for non-
silk ties with *printed* patterns. |
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So, after vending one single tie, the machine has to be removed and sent to landfill (after stripping out the wiring harness and other recyclable parts) |
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If you're getting a disposable tie from a vending machine, would you really expect it to be silk? |
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It's a tie, [goldbb]. Where it comes from is not relevant. |
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this idea is genius! oh darn the Japanese thought of
it first... |
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Ms. Dentworth (as I observed you were misrepresented as "Mr" earlier today), to clear my good name and record, I would like to point out, for your edification and that of several posters above, that our clever and ingenuitive friends from the isles of Japan, birthplace of so many a technological wonder, did not, in this case, invent the contraption in question, being a *manufacturer* and vendor of ties customized to customer preferences, and not simply a vendor of ties manufactured previously, without the immediate input of customer preference, and probably in a land far distant from the location of the sale, probably in Thailand. |
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thank you swimmy for that lovely nod to my person,
and a correction of data- most graciously tendered. |
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and even though it makes no sense... |
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//I observed you were misrepresented as "Mr" earlier today// |
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For goodness' sake. "Dentworth" is an indubitably male
name, and Dentworth will have to get used to it. Why he
keeps insisting he's female is utterly beyond me. |
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If so, I hope he can swim. If I had a south wing it would be in
the bloody lake. |
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who keeps deleting annos?, there are comments
missing here too. sincerely dentworth, with a lower
case d. thank you |
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I keep seeing visions of an elaborate vending
machine built into the form of a primitive culture's
statue-god, surreptitiously replacing the statue with
it, and filling it with goodies to bequeath upon the
people, if they go through some primitive worship
ritual properly and then deposit enough gold.
Twinkies, perhaps. They would last in such an
environment. |
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