h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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Some things absolve food of energy content, such as licking off a knife, eating when still raw or if a treat. This amalgamates them into one opening?
Package food with two possible openings, through one of which the contents of the receptacle can be accessed in its usual, energy-rich form, providing
the body with calories or joules. The other synthesises the mental processes which mysteriously reduce food's energy density to be used by those trying to lose weight. A margarine carton has a normal lid plus a second, peel-off bit on the side through which one can scoop surprisingly calorie-free margarine, or a sugar bag opens at either end, one normally, the other if one would prefer energetic unavailability.
This might be achieved in a manner like alleged negative calories of celery. It takes as much energy to access the food through the sin-free aperture as gained from the food. To remove a single grain of sugar from the absolvatory opening, it takes one joule because a handle has to be cranked to open a tiny iris opening which will slam shut immediately after removal, a strong spring keeps the opening shut or the food must be dispensed into a small chamber before removal.
The packets will carry two sets of nutritional information, one conventional, the other, possibly negative, subtracting work needed to remove the food. It also records other nutrients they would require to redress the balance of consuming those empty calories, so for example a small negative mass of calcium or various B vitamins.
Can also be extended to adultery.
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This is partially baked in the pet-food accessories market.
There are many toy-like products that dispense the pet's
food a little bit at a time when manipulated, forcing
overweight pets to play in order to receive their carefully
rationed meal. The best one we've found is called the Busy
Buddy; it can survive being knocked around the room by a
pit bull without breaking or popping open (as long as the
play is supervised; if left to their own devices, pit bulls
will happily put the lie to _any_ claim of indestructibility). |
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Now all we need is the same sort of toy, only altered to
dispense yummy low-calorie snacks and marketed to the
human weight-loss demographic. |
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Can we not extend this yet further so that ladies can have two vaginas, giving them the opportunity to decide whether they want their child to be born into the world with or without original sin? Obv, we would need to consult with various bodies ecclesiastical but, so long as we give the mothers birthcanal choice, it shouldn't diminish membership or doctrine. |
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It might, however, spawn a whole new genre of pornography. |
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Absolutely, [calum], maybe even one per denomination. Makes
me wonder abiut C sections. |
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[8th], to be honest, I was thinking more that this idea would be the beginning of the advent of practical, rather than theological, Pelagianism but yeah, porn too. |
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[nineteenthly], well, a c-section was enough to generate a technical exception in Macbeth. Perhaps it should instead be termed a "loophole delivery". |
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That could be apter than it might seem, as i wonder if they could
help with umbilical cord problems. |
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Variations - a box of cookies intentionally manufactured to contain only crumbs (0 calories). Or a container of cream cheese specially designed so that the lion's share sticks to the lid when opened (of course, this portion can be scooped off and eaten with no dietary consequences whatsoever) |
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Meringues are well known to be a safe choice at the cake shop since they are “nothing but air”. |
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I wonder how breatharians go on a diet? |
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I thought a merengue was a type of dance. Dancing burns
calories, so I guess that makes sense. |
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//I wonder how breatharians go on a diet?//
I'd like to see that, but I'm not holding my breath... |
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Merengue might be a type of dance. Meringue is a pie topping made primarily of egg whites and sugar. Never, ever, ever try to make meringue when it is damp out, only when the atmosphere is relatively dry. |
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Isn't merengue a sort of pie topping made from egg whites?
It seems like it might be dangerous to dance a meringue on
it. |
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Pavlova, which is based on meringue, is named after Anna Pavlova, a dancer. There. Mystery solved. |
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(The only dance I can think of that sounds a bit like meringue is the minuet.) |
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Merengue is actually a Swiss martial art. It is not
very effective, which is why they developed the
knife. |
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