h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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This, plus letting it ring when it's ringing - I'd rather be given the choice to allow the phone to simply ring, than be told by a machine (at my expense) that my call is important to it, and that I'm in a queue, and someone will be with me shortly. And while it *is* more satisfying to hang up indignantly on the machine than just letting it ring off the hook, I don't think that's the effect they are working on. |
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Think of it: You're in the office working on
something but need to call your electricity provider
to have an engineer called out to fix the coupling in
your underground lab – whatever. If the hold is
silent, you can put it on speaker! Just pick up when
you hear the hello. No one has to get angry at you
for hearing the crackly drone of telephonic elevator
music, and you can concentrate on whatever it is
you're doing. Bliss! |
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Hang on - the phone's gone dead. Must be broken. |
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"We will now put you on hold. The phone will remain
silent for your pleasure until we can take your call.
Thank you for your patience." |
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[+] Especially since cell phone compression doesn't handle music well, and it sounds absolutely horrible. Possible a very quiet white noise would be acceptable so you can tell it's still active if you decide to check it. |
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I need something so I can tell it's still active. |
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The system could be set up with a voice- or sound-detector, so that if you shout "Hello? is there anybody there?" down the line at the silent on-hold non-noise, it replies "ssh! You're on hold!" and then goes silent again. |
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//it replies "ssh! You're on hold!"// Yes. [+] |
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^nearly woke my wife up laughing. |
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You know [Alterother]'s wife? |
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All the people on hold should be able to talk to one another, in a huge angry chatroom. |
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Don't calls get disconnected after a while if there's no sound? |
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If not, it's an excellent idea. |
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//Don't calls get disconnected after a while if there's
no sound ?// |
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I don't think so, but if they do, this could transmit
the lowest possible sound, barely audible, but that
keeps it ticking over. How's that? |
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//All the people on hold should be able to talk to one another, in a huge angry chatroom.// |
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[ZT] You should post that as a separate idea. Unfortunately, it would probably work in the company's favor, as half the people will solve the other half's problems. |
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I get lonely, need the voice. (neutral.) |
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What's wrong with your own? |
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People call you insane if you sit and talk to yourself
on the phone. I don't need to give them anymore ammunition. |
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Hang up and the telephone connects itself to a Tannoy
system and belts out Herman's Hermits' "There's a Kind
of Hush" |
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// People call you insane if you sit and talk to yourself on
the phone. // |
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People call me insane anway. I take it as a compliment;
does that mean it's true? |
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Well, in formal logic, if p is true, and q is true, then
"p implies q" is also true. So, yes, the fact that
people call you insane means that you are, in fact,
nuts. |
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Yeah, well, you can quote Erik Estrada all you like, but it
doesn't mean either of you are right. |
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The best on hold is the silence, followed by a beep or two every 10 seconds or so, just so you know that the receptionist didn't cut you off. |
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