h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Can you imagine how much of your taxes goes to keeping the
lawn of the White House in pristine order and looking good
year-round? The bill is huge, I can imagine. My idea would be
to reduce the size of the White House lawn to save taxpayers'
money. The reduction would begin from the public street
and
move toward the White House itself. Physically moving the
fence in toward the House and paving the portion of the grass
that is bleeding off onto Pennsylvania Avenue. Also, I'd not
only open the street to cars and people so everyone could
have a very close-up view of the President doing work, but I'd
also allow a White House tour and invite people from all walks
of life to visit the White House and use the White House
bathrooms, etc. More important though is to shorten the
White House lawn to save all of us a little money.
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In truth, I don't believe shortening the White House lawn
would actually save anybody any money. What it will do
however would be to make it easier for the nuts with
guns to hit their target without having to rest midway
through their sprint to catch their breath. It may not save
us money but it will save the wildlife up in Alaska. Of
course, to the Secret Service (SS, for short), I'm not
advocating any violence or aggression. I just want the
streets to be wider so I can drive my SUV. |
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The lawn should be done up Brady style with astroturf everywhere... that way it would look perfect at all times, and maybe the Redskins could use it as a practice facility. |
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I met a few Redskins "football" *hahahaha* players while living in D.C. - I can attest to the fact they have very nice homes, but am also unsure about practice. |
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You know, I've been studying the White House recently, just for my own amusement (the fence encloses 18 acres, by the way). It just occured to me that I've never seen pictures of anyone mowing the lawn. Do you think it's a Secret Service guy? Or just some poor immigrant shlub? Or maybe it already *is* Astroturf.... |
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Your other ideas are sadly awkward since 9/11; it's quite likely that at least a couple more streets will be closed to vehicle traffic entirely. But in eras passed you really could just drive up to the White House and knock. |
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or has the US government researched and implemented the stealth lawnmower? |
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do the secret service secretly mow the lawn? |
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