Shazammmmmm

Last year I posted Shazam For Coughs.(link) I'm now extending its range by adding certain noises to its database. It's called Shazammmmmm and here's what it does:

We are surrounded by noises. We get to know them and to recognise them. These noises are emitted from many sources, such as your fridge, or radiator, or toaster or bicycle gear hub. These are the known noises, but there are also the unknown noises that we may think are rats chewing through a vital conduit or a loose ball-bearing making its way into a part of your car engine where it's not welcome. Shazammmmmm can diagnose these noises.

All you need to do is hold the special microphone against the noise source and send the resulting signal to the website of Shazammmmmm, just as you do when trying to identify a song using Shazam.

Shazammmmmm holds billions of noises against which your particular sample is compared, and within seconds comes back with a list of possible sources. Noisy fridge? Scroll down the results and find out that only Whirlpool Acme B6 Model with a faulty condenser makes that exact sound.

That odd sound in the roof space is not a joist shifting after all; a pigeon has gotten in, and has just added another piece of nylon carpet to its nest which is under construction beneath a broken slate.

Shazammmmmm stores billions of noises and keeps on expanding its database. It does this by paying a small royalty fee to those who upload authenticated additions to increase its range even more.

So, next time you can't figure out what the clicking/ humming/clanking/whirring/hissing sound is, just use Shazammmmmm to put your mind at rest. (or send you running into the street depending on the result)