Sex Trombone - Plant People thing

So I had this friend and it really was a friend, not me, not that that should matter, who used to, this is when we were both about 12 or 13, i swear to god, pleasure himself with a vaccum cleaner hose, and, yes there was a size issue - - he was just pre-pubescent and I was just post pubescent -- wow this may be a little personal... but anyway who cares now i am like 45. So the point is that being prepubescent he was small enough to fit inside the vaccum cleaner hose, sorry this is so graphic but it is all for a good cause just bear with me here, so the kid was able to fit inside the vaccum hose and turn the thing on and it would, you know vibrate him back and forth with a sound that raised and lowered according to how closely he held the hose onto his body, so it was like a musical instrument -- a "sex trombone" in that it changed pitch according to how tightly he was holding it to his body. And of course the point of the whole thing was that he finished off, and an added benefit, I guess, or maybe a liability, was that the vaccum cleaner took care of everything else.

And I have thought a number of times of this weirdness over the years, but never, until now, over my fifth bottle of rubber cement tonight in the homeless shelter, just kidding, no i'm not, yes i am, thought that this kind of a contraption could have a greater benefit -- be amplified and gentle-ified so that it was a whole body machine where the shape of the walls of the vaccum tube are optimized to gently vibrate the different parts of the body so that they are in constant low level vibration at a level that is not painful but is energizing and energy-expending, and so that there is no mental storage of excess energy, (which is the root of all evil I am convinced), and so that optimal repetitive motion and then, through acoustic programming starting with audio books, mental programming and finally predictable mental energy extraction could be acheived. So you would basically have a borgish sort of lung thing, without any wires or other substrates, just a bunch of really happy people being moved and programmatically feeding back energy by air intake. And so what kind of natural breathing process could be doing the energy intake? Well maybe they are like a borg and all connected together in a big lung so there is a non human element to the contraption that forces the vibrations of the human elements acording to air intake... f it i cant write it out.