h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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At first glance, it looks like a 'thank-you' card - arriving in a pastel envelope, and the card itself is embossed with writing made of little flowers in a decorative but hard-to-read font, two words, second word 'you', and a poem inside.
It's not a 'thank-you' card.
Closer inspection reveals
the first word is only four letters... and that's an overly styled 'F', not a 'T'.
The poem inside tells you how they really feel.
Sold in a packet which makes it clear exactly what you're buying.
https://unsongbook....t-is-in-destroying/
“You ever written a card?”
“Yeah. My mom. For Mother’s Day.
“That’ll do.” He motioned Brian to sit down at the table, pushed the paper and pen over to him. [...] “You write it. Something appropriate.”
“What’s the occasion?”
[Loris, Mar 12 2024]
Hate Hearts
Hate_20Hearts
Similar sentiments but in a different form. Also, shameless self-promotion. [DrBob, Mar 20 2024]
[link]
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I like this idea of a generic card with no clue as to the sentiment it communicates: “Feel one of a number of potential emotions! I have some reason to send you a card; Yes, this one! - signing off, [hippo]”
“I wanted to send you a card
Choosing one was really quite hard
I think this one’s right
‘Tho I worry it might
make you think I’m slightly awkward” |
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I think I could do with those as well, hippo. |
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I'm thinking of changing the title to "hating card".
Or maybe letter-F bomb. |
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Needs refining. Good idea but not yet half-baked. |
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I'm interpreting this as a generic card with a message suitably ambiguous that it could fit any eventuality (birth of your first child/ death of an elderly relative/ unexpected amputation of a limb/ divorce/ 100th birthday). The big advantage to this is in the manufacturing, where you can cut costs by producing and distributing one kind of card instead of many. |
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//I'm interpreting this as a generic card with a message suitably ambiguous that it could fit any eventuality // |
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In that case I've gone too subtle. Although I do like that idea as well hippo. |
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I was inspired by glimpsing a card from across the room, and doing a double-take.
Why was it /so rude/?
The answer was that it actually said "thank you", but with the ornate lettering I misread the first letter as 'F', the word is short and ends with 'k', my mind filled in the rest. |
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And I thought - what better way to get your message across to someone that you really, really /really/ don't like - but make them think a pleasant thing is happening then rip it out from under them. |
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I can see 'I will F you' pornographic Valentine's cards. |
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//Layout and typography suggestions are but a different flavour.// |
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I dunno - I mean, I think that's arguable. I'm claiming it's important for the full psychological effect for it to be initially mistaken for a thank-you card. I don't think any of the cards in your link achieve that - at least currently, as they'll be subject to change.
Most of them are actually just obscenely worded "sorry you're leaving" or birthday cards. Only two out of 40 on the first page genuinely convey the sentiment of hatred. |
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Out of interest I saved the link to archive.org, and because etsy serves different pages to different jurisdictions, could get another set.
The animosity ratio is up - it looks like someone in America has a line of them, using big black typewriter-style letters on manilla card. But still, nothing which matches my description. |
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What a lovely idea Loris. And so well presented & described. I am surprised it came from a boring old git like you. I didn't think you capable of it. |
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