h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Why would you put a sign up ? They can steal the worthless display models. |
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And so will the diamond rings be empty, too?
This is potentionally a good idea, but actually they could just put photos of the watches in the case and there you go. |
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/Why would you put a sign up ? They can steal the worthless display models. / |
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Those big windows are expensive to replace.
( Someone would steal the sign, though. ) |
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Hmmm, am I the only one who thought a smash-and-grab counter at Selfridges, would be a counter at Selfridges where one could, hmmm, smash and grab? |
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Or just make the window out of something
unsmashable.
Wire mesh glass, laminated glass, or that sort of
bulletproof acrylic you see in banks and fast food
joints in
sketchy neighborhoods would all either slow down
considerably or utterly frustrate a smash and grab
attempt. |
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[pocmloc]: Nope. I had hoped this would be a novel
way of
shopping. Maybe a way to simulate the exhilaration of
theft
and impress your sweetie with your sinister derring-do
at
the same time. You buy the stuff online, and then
show up
(with your oblivious main squeeze in tow) and slip your
receipt to the security guard surreptitiously. He gives
you a
slight tip of his cap, indicating that your material is
ready.
While browsing the jewelry counter, you point to your
selection (which, conveniently, has a drastically
overinflated price tag on it) and casually remark,
“Hey, you like that, baby?” While your romantic
interest is
gushing over it, you wait for the remark that it's too
expensive. At that point you say, “Hey, go over there
for a
minute and watch this.” As (s)he quivers with
anticipation,
you produce a small hammer and use it to break
through
the candy glass, grab your merchandise, and hotfoot it
out
of there while the security guard chases after you,
firing
blanks from his revolver. You then meet up with your
belle (or beau),
give her (or him) the goods, and shout “God, I've
never felt
so fucking ALIVE!” Then you presumably go home and
have
some “naughty boy (or girl)” sex, but that's up to you,
and
outside
the scope of this annotation. |
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I'm sure a bunch of Chinese hackers are working on a web interface... |
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"But why would I want to smash the watch before I
grab it?" |
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(Except if it is a Rolex) |
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//I'm sure a bunch of Chinese hackers are working on a web interface.. |
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I'm sure someone in Prism is reading their emails. |
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It seems a little foolish of Southridges to display valuables
under glass that can be smashed with a hammer. Even
Jared's Galleria of Jewelers (the Wal-Mart of the diamond
trade) has figured out that laminated windshield glass foils
nearly all daylight robbery attempts. |
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/ has figured out that laminated windshield glass foils nearly all daylight robbery attempts. / |
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Ever notice how when someone knows what they are talking about, it kills the conversation. |
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On a side note, jewelry store managers get really techy
when you start eyeballing the vault or lean really close to
the case to count the layers of laminate. |
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Yeah, but it's still made out of steel, and with a selection
of tools from my garage* and one hour without adult
supervision per three inches of vault wall I'll show you
exactly how much that other fancy stuff is worth. I'm
sorry, but once you learn how to work with steel, the more
you start to realize that vaults are mostly for show. It's the
cameras I'd place my stock in. |
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* granted, one of those tools is a 400w plasma cutter,
which requires an air compressor and dedicated 240v line
and is a bit difficult to conceal under a long jacket and a
pair of dark glasses |
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400 watts? What brand is that, Fisher-Price? |
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//it kills the conversation// |
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Yes - that's why people like us spend time in places like this. |
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It's a Miller, since you asked; a nice little suitcase model
that pulls its
hydrogen right out of the air so I don't have to drag around
a 70lb bottle of the stuff everywhere I go. Goes through
1/2" mild steel like butter, 3/4" like frozen butter. I once
used a 6,000w Avarc to cut an eight-inch steel slab to
make derrick pads for an offshore oil rig. Does that satisfy
your standards, Mr. Crytk? |
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I just really don't think you have a 400 watt plasma
cutter. At 240 volts, that's less than 2 amps. |
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[pertinax]: Er, right—I was trying to make the entire
thing
gender/orientation non-specific but one slipped by.
Thanks. |
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I may have my figures off. It's late and I'm a little stoned. If
you like, I'll go down and check it in the morning. |
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Alterother, an interesting link for you... |
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[ytk] you were correct as always: my plas is a Miller
Spectrum 400 (now the Spectrum 375 X-TREME,
apparently) rated for a
4,000 watts, which probably means the Avarc machine I
bragged about was _called_ an Avarc 6000 and actually
rated at a million gazillion watts. They don't make 'em
anymore, so I didn't bother digging deep enough to get the
specs. |
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Also, the Spectrum does have a nifty converter that lets it
run on 120v, so it could feasably run on any wall outlet.
The performance is so poor that I never use it on that
setting and had quite forgotten it. |
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[Ling], that's one of the best links anyone here has given
me. Immediate bookmark. |
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