h a l f b a k e r yMy hatstand runneth over
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I've been caught with my zipper down far too many times, and I figure many other people have as well. So, I propose that someone make pants that zipper themselves.
One of the most prominent concerns is the possibility of...um..stopage (!), so there should be some safety measures in place (similar to
those found in garage doors). With the auto-zipper in place, you fears of being seen with you fly down are gone!
High Flyer
http://www.halfbake...m/idea/High_20Flyer
My take on the problem intersperced with lashings of self-promotion. [sdm, Sep 18 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
The Todger Torch
http://www.halfbake...idea/Todger_20Torch
"Gentlemen: pee with confidence..." [bristolz, Apr 27 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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This is all very well for women, but how would the zipper AI know not to zip itself up during a gentleman's bladder evacuation? (ouch!) |
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Boy, the Amish would REALLY be against these. |
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Sorry, im gonna vote against this one, the possibility for immense pain and possible permanent physical damage is too dangerous for me to endorse. |
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Attaching, to the bottom of the penis, a special, wedge-shaped, pierced-stud 'zipper stop' that prevents the zipper from closing should do the trick. If the piercing is too much, I'm sure the zipper stop could be attached with a hose clamp or pipe clamp. |
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Alternatively, a guy could could don the todger torch (link). |
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"And this years winner of the Darwin awards goes to Pete McPeterson, who zipped himself right off..." |
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You could put some sort of alarm system in that detects if your fly is down and vibrates or beeps every 5 minutes if it is. it could turn on when you're buttoned and turn off when you're not. |
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You could run elastic behind the zipper so that if you do happen to forget to zip, at least the elastic would close up the gap for you (assuming you pants actually fit you...) |
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It's good to see I'm not the only one who panicked on sight of the title to this idea. Go get yourself some elastic pants and keep your death-trap away from my little friend. |
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No electronic sensors, batteries or wires around there... |
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The trouble with most things "automatic" is that they work when you don't want them to and don't when you do. Either way with this device the outcome would be devastating. |
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I'm against this idea.For one reason it's good to show off,and another you can thank someone for noticing.(if they point out your fly is open).Means they were checking you out. |
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