Self Defense Catheter

GROGco presents the latest in Senior Self Defense: The Cobra Strike Zap-O-Matic Personal Defense and Phone Charging Catheter.

At the slightest hint of trouble from any would-be robber, simply slam your knees together three times in rapid succession. The catheter will immediately disconnect from its handy leg carried bag and shoot out of your trousers at rocket speed. And, owing to the tiny copper fibers that surround each GROGco catheter as well as its extendable design, the would-be robber (or pesky feral cat) will be treated to 100,000 volts of pure debilitating electrical bliss.

GROGco recommends slamming your knees together rather early in the robbery process if the would-be robber is armed with a pistol to avoid any messy accidents should he already have his finger on the trigger.

Even in the unlikely event that the would-be robber is standing too far away, GROGco engineers are fairly certain that you should be able to beat a hasty retreat while said would-be robber is laughing.

Be sure to stock up on plenty of extra catheters to practice on Fluffy or Aunt Edna so that you will be ready when the inevitable occurs. (GROGco recommends turning electrical shock component off prior to testing)

Note: If you intend to use the phone charging feature, please pick a discreet out-of-the-way area to slip your phone into your pants. Finding the mini-USB jack by feel alone requires some finesse.