h a l f b a k e r yTrying to contain nuts.
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Fit cows with a belt-like strap around their mid-sections, from which a bucket (or pail, if you prefer) will hang. Durable rubber bellows will be attached to the hooves of said cows. These bellows will be attached via hoses to inflatable doughnut-shaped rings around the cows' teats, from which milk
is traditionally squeezed.
As the cow walks, the bellows will alternately be compressed. This process will regularly inflate and deflate the doughnuts attached to the teats, resulting in a milking action. The bucket slung under the animals' udder will, of course, be used to catch the milk as it is produced.
To preserve the dignity, and perhaps comfort, of the herd, remote-controlled timers may be fitted to the apparatus. These will allow the farmer to control the times of day during which the action of walking will produce a milking action - when deactivated, a valve on the bellows will simply open, giving an alternate route for air to escape. Throughout the day, the farmer and/or his assistants will travel the farm on quad-bikes (or unicycles, if they desire) collecting the contents of the buckets.
Self-Milking Cows
http://www.csmonito...0911/p3s1-usec.html Well, they don't power the milking devices themselves, but maybe with a methane-collecting device and a Ballard Fuel Cell... [Cedar Park, Oct 17 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Milkshake Making Device
http://www.halfbake..._20Milking_20Device Different product, same results? [Cedar Park, Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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Just be sure to gather the milk before, er, tippin time. |
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I think some cows will immediately stop in their tracks
once fitted with the contraption, but I have a hunch some
others will tend to run around a bit too much for their own
good. |
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This would sure make "cream" collection from my bull easier. |
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how would you stop the cows lying down and spilling their buckets? |
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A herd of [Needa]'s just passed by. All I heard was: |
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squishsquishsquishsquishMOOOsquishsloshsquish... |
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-[po], //cows lying down//? I think not - these beasts aren't idle, they're moo-vers and shakers. |
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Needs an illustration, heh. |
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We need Bristolz on the job... |
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Cool... but captains Picard and Janeway may mistake the herd as a group of attacking Borg, and destroy them all. |
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And so you prevent... um... *foreign matter* from landing in the bucket how? |
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The very idea! Next you'll be wanting self-milking porn stars! |
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Actually, if you're ever been to a dairy farm, cows are not milked by hand anymore. These suction hoses, see... |
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This does have a certain charm, though. + |
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Dairy farms with suction hoses? Never heard of 'em. On my planet, we still do it the old-fashioned way. |
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