h a l f b a k e r yA riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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Self-service checkouts are fun until they go wrong.
Then it needs a carbon unit to come and sort the problem.
The problem is that all too often, said carbon unit is busy gabbing to her (it always seems a female) mates and ignoring her actual job she's there to do.
However, the new BorgCo bracelet
alleviates this annoying phenomenon. It is linked by radio to the checkout control system. When a checkout requires attention, the bracelet displays the number of the affected unit on its LCD screen, and bleeps and vibrates.
It continues to bleep and vibrate until the attendant goes to the actual checkout and cancels the alert.
However, if the alert is ignored for more than 20 seconds, the wearer receives a painful electric shock. This continues with increasing force and at shorter intervals until the problem at the checkout is addressed.
If the attendant is already logged in on another checkout, then the alert is held until that problem is cleared.
Importantly, the wearer cannot remove the bracelet themselves.
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To add realism you could contract out to G4S or Serco
the service that comes into the
shops and fits the tags - I mean bracelets |
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I'm with [Ian]. I think the shop should provide people to not only out-check the items you've selected, but also to pay for them. After all, you've put in the hard work of selecting them, and it's you who has to transport them to your house, unpack and store them. |
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// I refuse to use this sort of thing. It is unacceptable. // |
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As a result of your comment, BorgCo are now working on a similar bracelet for uncooperative customers. |
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//working on a similar bracelet// Better. Work to live and all that. |
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I'll start using them when merchants start offering
discounts to reflect the work I'm having to do. |
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It's all work. It's the little things that keeps fitness failure at bay. |
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Do you mean to say that over there on the Isles you've
actually grown accustomed to having live checkout
attendees as the norm, in that now dealing with self-
checkout machines becomes a shock to the system? Wow,
what a paradise that must be. |
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Do you have elevator operators, full-service gas stations,
and doormen, too? |
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Here in the abandoned lands of the once-mighty rustbelt we
have megastores with 25 aisles for checkout, only typically
one of which is populated by a teenage Minecraft zombie,
and 8 self-checkout stations or which a maximum of 3 of
which are functional at any given time. |
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// Wow, what a paradise that must be.// Well, yes. Larger supermarkets do have self-checkout aisles, but these are greatly outnumbered by staffed checkouts. Some supermarkets also have a guarantee that, if the queue is more than X shoppers long, and if there are unopened checkouts, they will open them. |
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Over here, there is at least lip-service paid to the concept that customers are what enable stores to remain in business. And yes we have doormen, but only at Harrods and Fortnums. And there are still a few full-service petrol stations. |
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Can I suggest a mass protest at your megastores? Simply load up two trolleys with frozen goods, wait for exactly three minutes at a checkout, then abandon your trolley and leave. |
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