h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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We all loved Seaquest when it aired briefly in the mid 1990's. It was revolutionary in that it was only the 17th show in the history of television to be set in, below or near the ocean or other major body of water. It was groundbreaking and made for some great evenings at home, alone, for all of us who
couldn't get dates or even make friends.
Now, in the tradition of Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (which was set before Raiders of the Lost Ark) and that new Star Trek prequel coming out next year, there's Seaquest 1492.
Starring Roy Scheider as Cristobol Colon (Christopher Columbus to Americans), see just how Seaquest started, more than 500 years ago.
Scheider leads the intrepid crew of the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria through crazy adventure after adventure.
Slaughtering natives by the thousands, "discovering" the Americas, plundering the bounties of The New World, raping women and otherwise solidifying himself in the history books.
Special guest stars for the first season include Richard Hatch from the first Survivor, Mickey Rooney and the mechanical shark from Jaws I and II.
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Will there be a talking dolphin? |
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Or maybe just replace it with a giant squid that kills someone every episode. |
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...or you could have a prequel to Mission:Impossible. Where the intrepid IMF agents get to hone their skills for the really hard jobs in a less challenging environment. Mission:Slightly Awkward. |
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'We all' who? You got a mouse in your pocket? "Star Trek: The Soggy Show' stank from the beginning... |
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The show "Whose Line is it Anyway" does DrBob's idea periodically. |
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This could be even better... SEAQUEST 3. That is, taking place in the year: 3 A.D... Imagine, Roy Scheider, as 'Ooga', hollowing out a tree and carving a pointed front and rear end on the first wooden "two person" canoe somewhere in Canada. Every episode would have 'Ooga' killed horribly. Mostly by wolves, but occasionally by a giant squid. Every other episode, Ooga finds a friend to journey with - but that friend will always be killed off in the first 10 seconds of the show. The last episode would have Ooga smahed to a pulp by pack of wandering Vikings and their pet, the Giant Squid. This would be entertainment... |
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As for Prequels to, say... Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, you could have "Pre-Cambrian Jones and the Lean-To of Dark". The film could last 18 seconds long... a giant tree falls on the lean-to and kills everyone immediately. |
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