Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Screaming Ashtray

“AAAAAAGGGGHHH!! Oh God! It burns! Hey, you did that on purpose, didn’t you? Why would you do that to… AAAAAGGGGHHHH! Again?!? What’s wrong with you? Can’t you see I’m in pain? … Take it easy with that thing, OK?”
 
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Wouldn’t life be funnier with a temperature sensitive ashtray that has either preset or personally recorded messages? Keep it at home as a novelty or take it to a restaurant and leave it on a table as a prank. The unsuspecting smoker will be torn between wanting to put out his cancer-stick so the thing will shut up and not wanting to hear what it sounds like when he does put it out.

wow… I wish I knew how my brain got to this point today. I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed…

ps. Isn't there a "pranks" category? I can't seem to find it.

luecke, Jun 03 2004

Coughing Screaming Ashtray $9.99 http://www.perpetua...IEWPROD&ProdID=1630
[jutta, Nov 20 2006]

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       dude, i smoke enough as it is. the last thing i need is an excuse to light up another. (+) though. phillip morris and my future widow thank you.
xclamp, Jun 03 2004
  

       When will people stop persecuting smokers?
engineer1, Jun 04 2004
  

       Probably when they stop smoking.
MikeOliver, Jun 04 2004
  

       [engineer1] - It's not about getting people to stop smoking, or punishing them for doing it. I just think it would be funny to see people react to it. The joke is in something completely unexpected occurring in the middle of your day. It just happens to be triggered by a smoker, who after he gets over being a little bit startled, will probably get a good laugh out of it as well.
luecke, Jun 04 2004
  

       OK luecke, seems my blood nicotine levels were low and i over reacted.
engineer1, Jun 04 2004
  

       Thats ok. Go have a smoke. Here... use this ashtray.
luecke, Jun 04 2004
  

       Ah, novelty joke items. How tiresome!

(Sorry luecke but having worked on a stall on the seafront I've seen them all. They get very boring, very quickly)
DrBob, Jun 04 2004
  

       So you are a Doctor of Practical Jokes?
I'd have worked hard at Uni had that only been an option!
MikeOliver, Jun 04 2004
  
      
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