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"War of the Worlds" style walking tripods that are tuned to the heat from a burning cigarette. I have quite a few thoughts on how these could be made in a more practical way, but since the idea is inherently absurd, I'm just going to let it go at this.
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A heat avoiding ashtray would be a lot funnier |
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On wheels it would be feasible. |
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Picking up and carrying an 3-ounce ashtray to your seat would be feasible. Things that walk on three legs are more exciting. |
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If I've learned anything from The Outer Limits, it's that liquid helium flows towards heat sources. How you use this information, if at all, is up to you. |
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HAH! Well, you already had my bun, Tiro, but if I could give it to you again, you'd have . . . uhm . . . one bun. |
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<The Goon Show>
HENRY:
Did you put the tiger/cigarette out, Min?
MINNIE:
Yes Henry, I, I put the tiger/cigarette out, Henry.
HENRY: And don't forget to tell the camel driver no milk tomorrow.
</The Goon Show> |
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They would be better as quadrapods - that way they could balance on three legs while moving the fourth, shift their weight when the fourth is back on the ground, then move the leg that has now had the weight taken off it. This idea is in no way too absurd to consider the practical aspects. "Cover the Moon with water" falls into that category. |
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Could they dance whilst they idle? Please? |
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Do the ashtrays' butts smoke? |
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[htj] - They certainly will if I make 'em. The legs will terminate in "Tap-Pods" and they will each have a different Fred Astaire routine programmed. Can be bought as matched "Fred and Ginger" pairs for an extra cost (which is already moving happily into the five-figure area). |
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I'd take up smoking as an excuse to buy one, at least for a day or two. Really I'm smoking to the end of the week and that's it. Well, seeing as the end of the month was so close and all, I decided what's the harm in carrying on a little longer. I promise to give up at New Year. GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY SMOKES! |
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Manufactured by the same company that makes Flocking Road Cones, no doubt. |
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Six legs, if something is going to be made to walk (as everything should), would probably be easies to implement. But then they wouldn't be from Mars. Of course, as [contracts] pointed out, wheels would put this into the category of "things that you could really, actually do". On the other hand, it would be harder for the ashtray to straddle a garbage can. Maybe they could do flips over the garbage can when they are full. |
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Better yet, have a robot trash can with a mains adapter, and a battery charger. You toss your spent, rechargable batteries in the trash, and it sorts them and recharges them. Then, the ashtrays have to trade in a in butts for a fresh battery. For this to work, the asktrays would have to be equipped so as to make a pleading, mewling noise when you aren't smoking. And they would have to carry punch-cards. |
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I reassert my statement about practical considerations. |
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Mwahahahahah, that is diabolically delicious. I'll bet smokers could never outrun a killer ashtray, even a slow moving one. They'd have no choice but to throw their butts on the ground and then make a slow get-away! Also, you can decrease the amount of cigarette butts on the ground just by putting ashtrays once every 10-15 feet in all directions and telling smokers to throw a 3 pointer (also, use large buckets instead of small metal plates). |
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