h a l f b a k e r yFewer ducks than estimates indicate.
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Every christmas the postal services get over-swamped and scouts around the world are forced to pick up the slack, delivering all those surplus items of festive mail.
This mail, once read, kicks about on the sideboard until around twelve days after xmas and then gets thrown away; further adding to
the environmental problems of the world.
I propose a service where, instead, a scout from the local troop arrives on your doorstep first thing of a morning, with a lovely piece of fresh warm yummy buttered toast. This you munch at your leisure, whilst the scout recounts a verbal message of yule-tide well-wishing, along with the details of the kindly and thoughtful sender. Preferably in rhyme, and with a seasonal soprano-descant.
If this is a go-er please let me know quick, as there are only fifteen weeks left for the scout-hut-industrial-toaster installations and subliminal photo-memory training sessions. Thanks.
lets hear it for the Guides!
http://www.girlguiding100years.org.uk/
[po, Sep 16 2009]
[link]
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Unless it was a card from the local member of parliament, of course. |
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"Scouts around the world"? Never heard of that practice in the US. Never heard of anyone other than USPS employees handling the mail. I think it would be illegal. They do hire additional temporary staff during the holidays, though. |
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Not in the US. The law says nobody else can touch, and the Postal Workers Union would be spraying rotten onion plasma from every orifice if somebody suggested delivery on Christmas. |
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In Japan, I remember seeing hundreds of high-school kids taking the short-term job (one week sorting, one day delivering) the "nengajo" (a special postcard guaranteed to be delivered on New Year's Day if it was mailed before a certain date). Hauling all those cards in bags strapped to bikes, they could seldom do more than a couple of residences per trip. Anybody well-known (say a teacher, doctor, mayor...) might receive multiple bikeloads of cards. |
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What is:
a scout
sideboard
a go-er |
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It's a bit different in London. There, no-one delivers the post. It just sits around in ever-swelling sacks. |
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Toast would definitely be better than no post! |
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Scouts: Military kindergarten
Sideboard: Window or counter ledge
Go-er: Good'un |
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// It's a bit different in London.//
Yeah!, Like you would know what's going on in London. Last I heard you had thrown your hat down the road and were spotted running West, later to be spotted digging spuds somewhere on Erin.
How the Devil are you? |
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hmm... having Scouts pick up and deliver Xmas cards would go a long ways towards descrewing the yearly xmas postal strike. |
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don't leave out the Guides. one hundred years ago they infiltrated a Scout Rally and cheekily asked Baden-Powell for a similar association for themselves. in those days girls were not allowed to run or raise their arms above their heads let alone enjoy themselves (although how the hell these rules were met, I have no idea - a bit like women being beaten for wearing trousers in this enlightened age I imagine, the hussies) |
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anyway the Guides were born in 1909 and they are thoroughly celebrating their Centenary at present so perhaps they are too busy enjoying their elves and raising their arms above their heads etc to bother delivering the post. |
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//How the Devil are you?// |
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I'm pretty good, begorrah! Eating potatoes, drinking Guiness and hoarding pots of gold as we Irish do. Could do with an English ale in town, mind you. |
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//What is: a scout, sideboard, a go-er// |
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Scout: a soldier, warship, airplane, etc., employed in reconnoitering. |
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Sideboards: growths of hair down the sides of a man's face in front of the ears, especially when worn with the rest of the beard shaved off. |
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Go-er: a woman of easy virtue or one interested in carnal pursuits. |
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Hope the idea makes more sense now, bliss. |
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There sure are a lot of scouts, wish we had a few
of
em over here, to do some stuff. |
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Sideboards here are those things that hot plates
sit
on at fancy dinners. The ones against the wall. I
think. |
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And Go-er, thems gophers in the south, aren't
they ;-)
(thanks all for the clarifacation and laughs.) |
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//Go-er: A broken-down car, possible to repair to a
state where it will actually move again under its own
power.
— UnaBubba, Sep 16 2009// |
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