h a l f b a k e r yNumber one on the no-fly list
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Extra fatty, greasy, salty, DELICIOUS potato chips (crisps to you
foreign
folk) with the most eye-catching, enticing packaging. On each chip is
an insult or other statement of ridicule. The idea is to make people
choose between rubbing their own noses in their failure or
abstaining
from the
tastiest
snack on Earth. If they give in, they are reminded
with every bite of their weakness.... but the guilt feels SOOOOOO
good!
"I'm gonna go straight to your thighs, fatty!"
"Bulking up for winter there, tubby?"
"Do I please thy senses? Well you offend mine!"
[link]
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But crisps are sliced, not ground. And who looks at their crisps anyway? Is this an American thing, to eat ground crisps while inspecting both sides of each one? |
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"...Well thou dost offend mine!"
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"...Well thou offendest mine!" |
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Chips is actually an Americanism I kinda agree with as they should be made from chips of potato*. However, a lot of popular brands are made from mash, e.g. Pringles. It is this type of crushp that lends its elf to being printed with a message due to its manufacturing process.
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Also, I assume the summary was derived from the example, "Grind beans and pour water on them".
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*I dislike the name French fries though, so what should we call them? Extrusions**?
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**I don't really mean extrusion, but whatever you call the process of pushing something through a grid, like you do with an egg or apple. Not the manual way of making them using a knife. |
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Wonderful! "Eat me and DIE!!!" |
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"I'd like a steak please."
"And how would you like your potatoes, sir?"
"Served please."
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Alternatively, racquet potatoes sounds quite nice too - like croquette. Plus of course, Americans can still spell it wrong. |
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For a better pun on the title of this idea, I'd make them
*corn* chips—packaged exclusively with Insult Salsa, the salsa
that says YOU'RE A FATASS in big capital letters all around the
label, so that dipping is impossible without lowered self-
esteem. |
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+ Fantastic! So glad I popped in on this
idea.
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Similarly: Try our chips and we promise
you'll be back again and again to haul it
through the checkout line, even though
it says our brand 'Porkers!' on every
bag! 'Porkers! You'll eat your heart
out!' |
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//On each chip is an insult or other statement of ridicule
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How? Is each chip individually packaged? |
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Seared on the chip itself. |
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This would work well for Pringles. |
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