h a l f b a k e r yClearly this is a metaphor for something.
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I went out into my back yard for a cigarette the other day, barefoot, because I was hungover and the sun was shining. One step I took. One step. Barefoot. Straight into a fox turd.
This vexes me. I was terribly vexed. I have nothing against foxes, in general. I'm happy for them to go about their business,
eating... whatever it is they eat. My only problem is their shitting on my patio.
Simple idea. Sensor in the back garden, when movement is detected, a speaker growls like a snarling ferocious dog to scare away foxes and encourage them to shit elsewhere.
Another Option...
Helium_20Charged_20Dog_20Food
[Grogster, Dec 23 2011]
[link]
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Sounds like one vexing vixen. |
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//Just mark your territory// |
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I'll happily piss in my garden if it keeps the shit away. |
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Is it wrong that I read this in Kramers' voice? |
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I used to raise rabbits in my back yard at our old house.
The area was highly populated by both foxes and coyotes,
which started investigating my bunnies until I made it a
regular habit to go out at least 2-3 times per week and
urinate somewhere along the treeline. After that, they
stayed away. It works very well and creates no odor,
provided you don't do it too frequently, randomize your
target areas, and go far enough from the house. |
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Piss works fine for keeping foxes away from the
bunny house, but to keep them off your patio you
must use human shit, and lots of it. |
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Don't worry, he'll find one for you. |
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Points for Whistlebritches! |
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It all seems rather counter-productive... |
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Probably he was on your patio looking for half-finished bottles, then guzzling down the remainer. Leave him a proper bowlful, then track him down where he is sleeping it off in the bushes, bag him up and relocate him to your neighbors place. |
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^wozzat the original plot of the "Littlest Hobo" ? dog comes over and the only way to get it to leave is to get it drunk enough you can pick it up and dump it in some other sod's yard. |
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Just a note, but hearsay says marking your territory won't work if you're a vegetarian. |
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Let me introduce you to my bushy tail ! |
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// hearsay says marking your territory won't work if you're
a vegetarian. // |
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I asked my Dad about this, and he suggested that might be
the case if you're Vegan; he thinks people who eat eggs
and drink milk would probably have the proper chemical
by-products present in their urine to trigger territorial
responces (i.e. staying away) in predators, especially
canine-ish varieties. I can't remember the exact terms he
used. |
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I've always marked my camp site when roughing it but I'd never heard of that vegan urine thing. Makes sense though. |
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You're more or less on the mark. My father's ten-minute
explanation boils down to "for a variety of reasons which
involve a great deal of chemistry that [The Alterother]
doesn't quite understand, some animals don't feel as
threatened by female dogs as by males". |
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