h a l f b a k e r yYou think: Aha! We go: ha, ha.
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Being part way through a set of grueling exams I find many of them too long and riddled with impossible questions (How does Steinbeck use imagery to convey feeling in his novel?) and then, unable to sleep due to the chairs provided, I often indulge in a fantasy of mine. What if I could cheat, in a simple
yet fairly undetectable manner.
Enter the Scanculator.
Primarily for Maths exams, the Scanculator (better names open to suggestion) looks and functions just like a normal calculator, but has a button, or sequence of buttons (possibly customisable) which begins the scan function. Then the back of the screen becomes the scanner, and whilst holding down the '=' button you can scan in part of the page. A question, or English title.
This information is then sent to your associate across the room, or even older sibling/friend at home with your/his/the internets's notes. He has a similar system, and sends a message back to you. It could just be "Use Quadratics" or "Mention Themes" followed by a second message "Loneliness, USA Dream, Racism". This would be enough to trigger your memory, and after a quick "Thanks" message sent back using a single pre-set button, you would be on your way.
Waking up in the exam hall, I realise this might be easy to spot by teachers, but, with skilled enough operators? As they say, two heads are better than one.
By the way, Steinbeck uses Light and Darkness, with Biblical language.
The mosquitos are gettin big this year.
http://www.mosquitoringtone.com/
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 17 2006]
[link]
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<types on the tiny keyboard> Yes, but which novel? |
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I'd buy one right now - but would all the technology needed (scanner, wireless internet/email) fit into a handheld calculator-sized product? I doubt it. |
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Bun is.... witheld until you change the spelling mistakes. [/pedant] |
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If space was an issue, it could simply not function as a calculator. |
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I've done 2 spelling mistakes, any more left? |
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During GCSE's, I think so. |
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The glaringly obvious one in the subtitle might be a good start... |
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//it could simply not function as a calculator.// |
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And thus lose it's only disguise? It has to be a calculator in the first place, to survive random checks by suspicious teachers. |
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A small cell phone with a built-in camera would do the job, and since many of them are much smaller than old calculators, that could be made to work. (NB, I think it would be great to have a fully functioning cell phone that looks exactly like, say, a HP11C.) |
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[sp: teenager's, for the possessive.] |
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How, though, are you going to explain that you're using a calculator in the middle of an English exam? |
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Nobody ever asked me why I had my calculator out during history tests. I had a very high-end calculator, that would let me type sentences into the formula function, which I did the night before a test. I didn't use it as a crib sheet very often, but it was handy. And it was never noticed, apparently. |
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The trick was that I was doing something that no one expected, using technology they had no experience with. Cribbing with a standard-issue cellphone and camera wouldn't work. If the item described works in a way that no-one expects, it is good. Unfortunately, it would have to be mass-produced, which probably defeats the secrecy objective. |
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Teens are now using a ring tone higher than most adults can hear to text message each other in class. I'll see if I can scare up a link. |
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<ps> I read this as skank-ulator. |
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I would have voted for a skankululator. |
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And as soon as this is introduced teachers are going to ban personal calculators in class. |
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Actually I am surprised this is not already the case. When I took engineering, programable calculators were just being introduced, and at the beginning of class students were required to hold up their calculators and press the memory clear sequence to ensure that they had not programmed the answers in. |
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Are you trying to learn or are you trying to pass?
If you're just trying to pass, get a throw-away e-mail address and subscribe to a couple e-mail distribution lists; before long, together with discounts on penile enhancement drugs and procedures, you will receive offers of very resonably-priced degrees and certificates. |
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You need a calculator to estimate a grade? You must be a business major. (certainly not an english major, they need math skills to make sure they have not been undertipped.) |
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[Germanicus]:
//During GCSE's, I think so.// |
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"During GCSEs, I think so." |
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if not, please explain (using justification and examples where possible) what belongs to the General Certificate of Secondary Education. |
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