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Savoury Condoms

 Crisp flavoured condoms
  (+10, -11)
(+10, -11) 		  [vote for,
against]

Aren't you tired of the all the sweetly-sickening ice cream flavours they use in condoms? I suggest a range of "Walkers" condoms that come in the same flavour as your favourite crisps (chips).

Imagine: instead of vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry, you'll be able choose from salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, barbecue, or smoky bacon condoms. The more adventurous might even want to try worcester sauce or prawn cocktail condoms. And the more traditional will enjoy the ready salted condom (for the genuine taste).

To make them easier to identify condoms would come packed in the same colour scheme as the crisp packets. Crisp packet vending machines and crisp shelves in pubs could include a section for condoms. No more running from toilet to toilet trying to find a dispenser.

—kinemojo, Sep 08 2005

Rubber Johnny http://www.ebaumswo...h/rubberjohnny.html
Aphex Twin/Chris Cunningham collaboration. Mmmm, salty. [calum, Sep 12 2005]

Truely the definitive taunt http://www.google.c...goodbye&btnG=Search
[dentworth, Sep 13 2005]

[link]






       //Crisp packet flavoured condoms// funnily enough they do taste the same! (I'm told) the packets, that is.
—po, Sep 08 2005
   

       Vanilla, chocolate or strawberry are icecream flavours. You lick icecream.   

       Salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, barbecue, or smoky bacon are crisps flavours. You bite in to crisps.   

       Do the math -.
—zeno, Sep 09 2005
   

       Maths, dammit. Math SSSSS. God, that drives me insane!
—squeak, Sep 09 2005
   

       once again, across the pond we say "Math". period. never heard otherwise...
—dentworth, Sep 09 2005
   

       Ouch. I dread to think of the outcome of a honeycomb flavour.
—Detly, Sep 09 2005
   

       Ah, but the study is of "mathematics", so the abbreviation *must* be similarly plural. Full-stop.
QED, bitch (always wanted to write that - no offence, [dent])
—coprocephalous, Sep 09 2005
   

       QED - the tactical nuke of a non-sequiter.
—Detly, Sep 09 2005
   

       none taken, can't fight logic, but I'm not gonna say mathz. ... had to look up QED
—dentworth, Sep 09 2005
   

       //Vanilla, chocolate or strawberry are icecream flavours. You lick icecream. Salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, barbecue, or smoky bacon are crisps flavours. You bite in to crisps// So you really need oyster flavour.
//QED - the tactical nuke of a non-sequiter// Ah, but with a well-placed "bitch", it becomes a laser-guided surgical strike.
—coprocephalous, Sep 09 2005
   

       Oh, I know. I've used it many a time. Never in an exam, though.
—Detly, Sep 09 2005
   

       A mathematical endeavor abbreviates to "math." The expression "Do the math" does not mean "do the study of mathematics" rather it means to do a mathematical undertaking and is singular.   

       Do the grammars ;-)
—bristolz, Sep 09 2005
   

       So, at college you go to "math" lectures? The subject and department is "Mathematics"
—coprocephalous, Sep 09 2005
   

       Certainly.
—bristolz, Sep 09 2005
   

       do the arithmetics.
—po, Sep 09 2005
   

       You perform the necessary calculations
—squeak, Sep 09 2005
   

       I go to a math lecture, and I put my money in a cash register. Get over it.
—contracts, Sep 09 2005
   

       Seriously? The US has introduced pay-per-view university lectures, [contracts]? Here, we pay our course fees in three instalments through the year...
—david_scothern, Sep 09 2005
   

       Beyond the technical grammar aspect, sometimes one has to trust their ear and "maths" is an unattractive word and, in the US, risks being interpreted as a pretentious affectation or, at the least, considered improper unless used possessively, a rare occurence.   

       Back to my understanding of grammar for a moment, to "do the necessary calculations" is valid when more than one calculation is needed and then only when one chooses to describe a series of mathematical steps needed to arrive at a result as "calculations" rather than a "calculation." I see this as a matter of choice rather than an imperative. I think "do the calculation" is every bit as valid as "do the calculations" when describing an arbitrary mathematical task.
—bristolz, Sep 09 2005
   

       chill out guys - take a break - have a cigarette, a cup of coffee and a few savoury condoms.
—benfrost, Sep 10 2005
   

       It's harder to be chiller than you, Mr. Frost.
—bristolz, Sep 10 2005
   

       thats because i always carry a few savoury condoms for such moments.
—benfrost, Sep 11 2005
   

       Lasts longer than gum.
—Detly, Sep 11 2005
   

       and stops me blowing bubbles
—benfrost, Sep 11 2005
   

       sp: nah nah nah nah nah nah there are 6, do the math murdster. wtf? edited in 2016
—dentworth, Sep 12 2005
   

       Well, at least we know where the style failure originates.
—bristolz, Sep 12 2005
   

       [Murdoch] and [dentworth] have accidentaly brought up another transatlantic discrepancy. As a kid in the UK we always used five 'ner's as Murdoch did, however since being in the US I have noticed an additional syllable. In my experience though it tends to sound more like 'niener niener niener' though.   

       On a related note, it seems that 'Ummmm' is a fairly universal childhood expression for "you just did something naughty". Is this true in the rest of the states? How about non english speaking places?   

       And finally, on topic; a cheese and onion Johnny would surely put the kibosh on post coital kissing.
—stilgar, Sep 12 2005
   

       sp. "ner ner _ni_ ner ner"
—coprocephalous, Sep 12 2005
   

       would it be in bad taste here to mention that England have taken the Ashes!   

       why don't we scatter them off Beachy Head and bury the pot?
—po, Sep 12 2005
   

       I hate to show off that I'm the smartest person in the world but it's spelled "neener," not "niener."   

       And no salty condoms for me, thanks.
—Machiavelli, Sep 12 2005
   

       our friend [half] now deceased (:P), had brought up an American classic. and to illustrate the importance of a good taunt song, see link
—dentworth, Sep 13 2005
   

       nobody mentioned pickled onion flavour/flavor.I'm starting to drool.HA HA HA HA.
—python, Sep 14 2005
   

       What happens if the girl is sleepy or drugged (as so often happens to me) and she tries to eat your wang?
—Shadow Phoenix, Oct 14 2007
   

       Like going fishing and hoping to get a nibble. [+]
—quantum_flux, Oct 15 2007
   

       A great idea [+]
—bnip, Oct 15 2007
   

       I don't know if cheese and onions would be that great of a turn on. Maybe tube steak flavored. Flogged Dolphin even.
—rascalraidex, Oct 15 2007
   

       Are you guys really arguing about whether "math" or "maths" is "correct"? That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard this year. "Math" is right in the US, "maths" is right in the UK. Period. End of story. Don't you guys have anything more important to worry about than a dialect pissing contest on the Internet?
—disbomber, Oct 15 2007
   

       //Don't you guys have anything more important to worry about than a dialect pissing contest on the Internet?//   

       HAHAHAHA! [disbomber] hasn't been here long enough yet to figure this one out? pedants never say die, [disb], they just whinge into the wind.
—k_sra, Oct 15 2007
   

       Forget the math, Do the science! You will find that, apart from the psycological components, most savoury flavours will be immiscable in water, and therefore unlikely to be a good match with latex. Much the same as you would have to have water based lubricants for latex and not "oily" petroleum based lubricants. Sweet flavours are generally miscible, and so the flavouring goes. Of course there is always opportunity for salty, but last time Ronald checked they were out of "hints of the Polynesian Archipelago."
—4whom, Oct 15 2007
   
      
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