Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ryoan-ji Hair Style

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(+7, -1)
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Ryoan-ji Hair Style is based on the most excellent Zen garden of the same name found in Kyoto.

It's a radical style requiring the recipient to begin the process by first having their head totally shaved. Sets of small stones with titanium bases are then attached directly to the skull, the skin having been carefully cut away to accommodate their arrival. As with all Zen gardens, the planning and subsequent arrangement of the stones is critical, and of course not easily reversed.

Once the stones are in place, the skin is allowed some time to heal and seal around their edges. All that now remains is for the hair to be precisely shaved into furrows and lines that follow the patterns carefully raked into the gravel on traditional zen gardens like that of Ryoan-ji in Kyoto.

With symmetrically arranged stones, Ryoan-ji Hair Style facilitates perfectly balanced, hands free head stands. (the other benefits are of a meditative nature for those who spend hours cutting and tidying the hair furrows)

Isn't the halfbakery wonderful? (aside - won't allow me to produce the character of a letter o with a flat accent over it (a macron?)

xenzag, Mar 19 2014

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       [+]   

       Wöüldn't sömë umläuten süffice?   

       You do know that someone is sure to now do this?
skoomphemph, Mar 19 2014
  

       This is one of the most ideas I've read for some time.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 19 2014
  

       I guess if you couldn't afford the titanium you could always go with simple scarification, but like you said " he planning and subsequent arrangement of the stones is critical, and of course not easily reversed ".   

       This is one of the ideas I've read.
normzone, Mar 19 2014
  

       ō   

       You're right, it doesn't work. Long vowel in Japanese is written as 'vowel with hyphen' after it, so Ryo-an is closer to original writing anyway.   

       Or we can agree on <cht*> OI </cht> so it looks right.   

       *clockwise head turn
not_morrison_rm, Mar 19 2014
  

       Yes, [nrm], and number 333.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 19 2014
  

       I'm not going " eto, eto, nandero......sono pondo san san san semi-colon" every time someone asks me to spell stuff..
not_morrison_rm, Mar 19 2014
  

       Ryouan-ji is the common romanisation that doesn't use a macron.
prufrax, Mar 20 2014
  

       Will there be a cherry tree, positioned slightly off-centre ?
8th of 7, Mar 20 2014
  

       //Will there be a cherry tree, positioned slightly off-centre ?//   

       While we're about it how about a small trepanning and a little windmill?
Then other people can play crazy-head-gõlf.
Loris, Mar 20 2014
  

       All of those are possible - but this is a Zen arrangement, so there won't be any gnomes. They belong on the English Country Garden Head Arrangement.
xenzag, Mar 20 2014
  

       // gnomes //   

       The gnomes are Evil and must be Destroyed.
8th of 7, Mar 20 2014
  

       Yes, the beauty of this concept is that it can be (and definitely will be) adapted to any aesthetic or inclination. (Apparently tomorrow morning long queues are expected to form, of those who can't wait to have their trepannings drilled through.)   

       The egotistical could have little sculpture parks made, full of flattering renditions of their own heads - each with its own similar sculpture garden, and so on, not quite ad infinitum. The shy could do something similar, hiding a single mummed sculpture in the thickets of their long, rank, greasy hair. ... and so on.
skoomphemph, Mar 20 2014
  

       I submit that Charlie Brown was the original, as evidenced by Lucy. "OH YOU BLOCKHEAD!" The Klingons followed shortly thereafter.
RayfordSteele, Mar 20 2014
  

       [+] "3D head Tattoo, with maintenance required".   

       A perfect example of what the HB is for. Creative, silly, doable (almost), & foreign to my current trains of thought.
sophocles, Mar 20 2014
  

       Can easily be faked, if somebody wants to use this in a movie.   

       Which somebody should.
Xenophile, Mar 27 2014
  

       This needs a miniature hurricane fence round it, so you don't lose the ball.
pertinax, Mar 27 2014
  

       [+] creative!
xandram, Mar 27 2014
  
      
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